Dear Auntie Linda, August 19, 2015

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My neighbors have gone Down Shore for the summer.  We have been helping ourselves to their tomatoes and berries since they were going to waste anyway, but their pool is starting to look mighty tempting.  I don’t believe they have an alarm system set since I’ve tossed a ball over there a couple of times and retrieved it with no problems.  I’m thinking of slipping over for a little dip after midnight.  What could it hurt?  Hot and Bothered

Dear Hot,   It sounds like a plan!  Invite friends!  Bring Alcohol!  Make sure you do it on a stormy night. Maybe lightning will strike and enquiring minds will see these headlines in a supermarket rag.  “Bunch of Bloated Bodies Found Bobbing in ‘Burbin Boil.  Aliens Feared!”  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My friends and I are divided over this.  We enjoy meeting at a local watering hole, but some of us like our drinks a bit stronger than the bartender mixes.  We’ve let management know.  Otherwise, it a nice place to meet.  We love the musicians, the ambiance, and it’s centrally located for everyone.  We don’t want to move.  Would it be wrong to discretely bring a little flask to top off weak drinks?  Love Bar, Not Bartender

Dear Love,  This will probably get me shot, but I’ve never hesitated to salt my food. If I had to get a packet of salt out of my purse, I would certainly do it.  That being said, I am quite sure there is a regulation against bringing in a bottle, so I would NEVER encourage lawbreaking. Be sure to tip well!  Auntie Linda