Dear Auntie Linda, August 19, 2015

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My neighbors have gone Down Shore for the summer. ¬†We have been helping ourselves to their tomatoes and berries since they were going to waste anyway, but their pool is starting to look mighty tempting. ¬†I don’t believe they have an alarm system set since I’ve tossed a ball over there a couple of times and retrieved it with no problems. ¬†I’m thinking of slipping over for a little dip after midnight. ¬†What could it hurt? ¬†Hot and Bothered

Dear Hot, ¬† It sounds like a plan! ¬†Invite friends! ¬†Bring Alcohol! ¬†Make sure you do it on a stormy night. Maybe lightning will strike and enquiring minds will see these headlines in a supermarket rag. ¬†“Bunch of Bloated Bodies Found Bobbing in ‘Burbin Boil. ¬†Aliens Feared!” ¬†Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My friends and I are divided over this. ¬†We enjoy meeting at a local watering hole, but some of us like our drinks a bit stronger than the bartender mixes. ¬†We’ve let management know. ¬†Otherwise, it a nice place to meet. ¬†We love the musicians, the ambiance, and it’s centrally located for everyone. ¬†We don’t want to move. ¬†Would it be wrong to discretely bring a little flask to top off weak drinks? ¬†Love Bar, Not Bartender

Dear Love, ¬†This will probably get me shot, but I’ve never hesitated to salt my food. If I had to get a packet of salt out of my purse, I would certainly do it. ¬†That being said, I am quite sure there is a regulation against bringing in a bottle, so I would NEVER encourage lawbreaking. Be sure to tip well! ¬†Auntie Linda