Nurse’s Nightmare

Zdd do too Even though I’ve been retired several years from thirty year’s nursing, I still work an occasional terrifying night shift in my dreams. It’s always ghastly. Last night, I was working along I always did, trying to have my acute dialysis unit in readiness before the rest of the staff got there at 0645 am. I always suffered from the delusion everything would go smoothly if I had everything in perfect readiness. It seldom proved true.

At any rate, as I worked along, I just happened to notice I was wearing shorts and flip flops instead of the required scrubs. Appalled, I rushed to borrow a set of scrubs from surgery. Naturally, every person I met threw roadblocks in my path.

Nurse Ratched

Eventually, I found myself back in my unit, desperate over the late start. Once there, instead of the highly trained, caring, and professional staff I expected, I was met by a madhouse of crazed clowns led by Nurse Ratched and the psychotic nurse Annie Wilkes, from the movie, Misery. Patients were lying on the floor, falling out of bed, and dumped into trash cans, arms and legs askew. The macabre nurses blocked me at every turn as I struggled to rescue patients. The unit was littered with feces, blood, and filthy dressings strewn on the floor, a nurse’s worst nightmare.

If that weren’t enough, just as the madness peaked, the CEO of nurses marched in, leading a group from Joint commission of American Hospitals, an unannounced visit to rate our services. I’ve never met any hospital staff who don’t dread this. When I saw their stern faces, I realized I’d forgotten to renew my nursing license. The CEO gestured to an officer. “Book’er Danno”

I was so glad to wake up.