Scary things I’ve heard coming out of my kids’ mouths:
To a messy neighbor: Β “My daddy said you need to clean that mess up!”
To my dad: “Climb a weed, Papa!”
Comment as portly lady turns to leave checkout line: Β “I was good not to call her a great big old fat lady, wasn’t I Mommy?”
To the dentist who encouraged her to floss: Β My mommy won’t buy me any floss.”
Loud protest when I tried to shush my daughter in a restaurant: “He is so a fat man!”
In a grocery store: Β “My mommy took my money to buy groceries.”
To the neighbor man: Β “My mama’s ta tas are bigger than yours.” Β Go figure.
To a kid who had been hitting him: Β “My mama said I have to hit you.” Β Whack! Β There was a little story behind this.
To a visiting relative: Β “My mama is tired of you sleeping here.”
To an elderly relative: “You smell like pee.”
To a relative: Β “My mama hates your mean little dog.”
My young son to his grandma: Β “Not by the hair on YOUR chinny-chin-chin!”
Worst of all: Β “My mama said…….”