Dear Auntie Linda, August 7, 2015

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, I am retired and live in a nice neighborborhood in the suburbs in the Northeast in a college town.  The taxes are very high in our neighborhood.  I need to rent out my upstairs apartment to cover my taxes.  It is a one bedroom with a small sitting room and bath, including a microwave, fridge but no kitchen.  The renter would have to share my back entry way.  My point is, I have had an application from a nice middle-aged woman who is a college student.  Her daughter is also a student and would want to stay here on weekends.  The woman has a dog.  I really hadn’t thought of renting to someone who had a dog or would have regular guests.  Additionally, this woman is very obese and had difficulty with the stairs.  She will have to walk nearly a mile to the train.  She also has bad credit.  I would like to help her, but I am afraid I will end up with a big problem if I rent to her.  What do you advise?   Need the rent.

Dear Need,  This lady sets off a lot of alarms.  If she has trouble with the stairs, a dog, and is planning for an “occasional” guest, I suspect you’ll have two full-time roomers and a dog who messes up the house a lot because it doesn’t get walked.  I wouldn’t ever rent to someone with bad credit.  I strongly suggest you tell her this won’t work for you.  It is very hard to get rid of a bad renter.   Run, run, run!

Dear Auntie Linda, i am eighty years old.  I never talked back to my parents in my life.  No matter how upset, I became with them, I just swallowed my feelings and kept my mouth shut.  I am glad now I didn’t ever sass them.  My kids are good people in their fifties and sixties and often answer sharply, or dispute with me.  I don’t understand why they do thisi raised them to be respectful.  I would have felt so guilty if I had ever crossed Mama or snapped at her.  Hurt feelings.

Dear Hurt, I am glad you feel good about never having had conflict with your mother.  It’s hard to imagine, in your whole life, you never lost you patience once.  Either she had you completely buffaloed or you were a saint.  Some conflict is normal, especially if you spend much time together.  You sound like a fine person.  I’ll bet your kids feel bad if they do snap at you.  I surely would.

Dear Auntie Linda,  My husband and I had wanted a baby for a couple of years.  We had a little boy a month ago.  I feel so guilty.  I feel absolutely nothing for this baby except frustration with all the crying, baby care, and sleep loss.  I wonuldn’t care if I never picked him up.  My husband just dotes on him.  Other new mothers act like they adore their babies.  I pretend to care, but I feel nothing but frustration for my lost good life.  What kind of monster am I?  Icy Mama

Dear Icy, Sounds like post-partum depression.  Talk your husband and doctor today.  You need medical and family support immediately.  Auntie Linda