Corwin and the Goat Pills

goat poopI think I’ve mentioned my cousin Corwin was interesting. He was still hauling his bottle around when he started school. His teacher made him leave it at home, so first thing after getting off the bus, he’d get his bottle out of the cabinet, fill it up, and enjoy it along with his after school snack. A hearty eater, he’d grab up a handful of Gravytrain Chunks out of the dog’s bowl as he headed out to play football with his big brothers. As a crawling baby, Corwin had started shoving the puppy out of his bowl and just kind of got hooked on Gravytrain. It added a interest to the game to see Corwin playing football with his baby bottle sticking out of his back pocket. One of his brothers or cousins invariably snatched his bottle and ran, passing it on to whichever kid was new to the game. The chase was on. Corwin carried a grudge to the bitter end and picked up a stick or rock and bash the bottle thief’s head in long after the game of “Keepaway” concluded. His older brothers felt this bit of info was on a “need to know” basis, so new kids had to find out the hard way.

When he was about five or six, Corwin decided it was funny to pee the space heater. He’d fall all over himself to beat his mama in the front door, drop his pants, and spray the open flame with a stinking deluge that spattered, steamed, and spewed up the whole house. As he sprayed from side to side, kids would be scattering to avoid the stream. Should he have any ammo left, bystanders got it. His mother made a token protest, followed by, “I don’t know what makes that boy act like that.” Daddy told my aunt he’d hooked an electric shock to the heater, so Corwin would be electrocuted. She believed Daddy, so made Corwin give it up. I know it wasn’t true, but it would have been a fine idea.

Corwin was horrible. We all hated him. To make a long story short, Corwin was so darned mean, nobody would have stuck up for him. About that time, Daddy brought in some goats. At any rate, when Corwin saw goat pills littering the yard, he thought, they were chocolate M&Ms and gobbled quite a few before he noticed the taste was off. My brother and I made sure he had all he wanted. Seemed like justice.

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Watson’s Troubles

 

 

Watson and footballMy seven-month old Akita Granddog Watson’s passion for football is starting to cause him some problems.  Don’t know if he will ever be able to pass this football, even if he can swallow it.

Hello, Mr. Flu!

imageMother always had a special capacity for bungling.  Sometimes she just talks to hear her head rattle. That can be as dangerous as leaving a loaded gun lying around.  When Mother was a teenager, the flu came to town.  The Pyles family next door all got the flu, except for Mr. Pyles.  He was struggling to care for his wife and six children.  The Continue reading

Calamity Cousins

My sister Phyllis is seating holding my squalling sister, Connie.  I am the beautifully groomed girl standing in the back row.   Mother made me wear that skirt and pink blouse I had just gotten that day for Christmas.  She made them.  The top button was the only one left by the time this picture was made.  The hem was ripped out of the skirt.  That’s what happens when you play football in a dress.

Cousins on Christmas

Cousins on Christmas

Cathy and Linda0001

Me and my cousin Cathy.  I was the tall kid.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have lots of cousins, more than forty on my father’s side of the family.  Some of them were great friends and partners in crime, some were object lessons, preparing me for life, and many are great fodder for my storytelling.  I am grateful for all of them.  There were always plenty for two ball teams.  The little ones made great bases!

There were five of us born about a year apart, three girls and two boys, my first friends.  We played, fought, and grew up together.  I often spent the night with Sue or Cathy.  It was common for our families to visit on Saturdays and again on Sunday, so there was lots of kid-swapping.  We loved it.  More often than not, it was late when we collapsed and ending sleeping in our clothes on pallets on the floor.

Of course, as we grew up and started families, we drifted apart, occasionally meeting at a family gathering, where we’d catch up a bit, making fruitless plans to get together.  The old feelings were there, just put on a shelf.

Now that we are older, we are starting to rekindle our relationships.  It is lovely.