Guests, Like Fish, Start to Smell After Three Days

I am an excellent guest.  We went to visit relatives this weekend, but I don’t ever expect to be invited back.

I pulled bathroom curtain loose while showering.  When I called Bud to fix it, We had to get through the requisite question first.  “Why did you pull it loose?”

“I was kicking at the toilet.  I intended to break it and the mirror over the sink, but this is all I managed, for the moment.  I am so disappointed in myself.  Can you fix it anyway?  I’ll get to the rest of it as soon as I can.”

Grudgingly, he put the window curtain back up.

Later, we made a little trip into town to pick up a few things at the grocery store.  Buzzy, our dog, and Bud’s aunt had gotten quite friendly.  She said he could stay with her since she was going to nap while we were gone.  I was a little concerned how that might go.  Hurrying back, I dreaded asking, “Did he do okay?”

“Did you see that movie, ‘Call of the Wild’?”  As soon as you left, he howled about every thirty seconds the whole time you were gone.”

Super Pooper

We had guests  My husband and I were in the kitchen getting coffee and dessert when we heard the couple laughing loudly.  We hurried back in the living room  to find our ten year-old-son had decided to pull a stunt. On a dare, he’d come walking out in front of the guests clad only in his briefs and socks.  He was a big kid, way beyond the point  to expect this.

Shocked, his dad spouted, “”Boy, are you nuts?  Go get your clothes on!”

As he turned to go, he waddled.  The woman exclaimed “Oh my God!”  He had packed a gargantuan lump of Playdoh  (afterwards known as Play Dooky) in the back of his briefs.  It looked liked he’d been holding it for about a week.   Then he reached back and pulled it out to show us, like a prize.  If I’d been offered retro-active birth control, he’d have disappeared then and there.