Maniac in the Wilderness

Bill 2Bill ever survived my mother’s abuse.  When he was only a tiny lad of eighteen, he was six feet four inches tall. I think the fact that she wasn’t even acquainted with five feet gave him a feeling of superiority.  While I won’t say he had a smart mouth, I will allow it was extremely well-educated.  I am sure they only reason my mother hadn’t already killed him was because she hated to go to prison and leave her younger daughters motherless.  It certainly wasn’t because the thought hadn’t crossed her mind at least a thousand times a day since puberty attacked him and her by proxy.

Anyway, on occasion, they had to travel places alone together.  It was a misery to them both.  It didn’t help that the car was a tiny Volkswagon Beetle.  It’s always worth a person’s time to stop and watch a huge guy unfold himself and crawl out of a Beetle, a pleasure Bill dreaded providing mirthful onlookers.  It didn’t improve his mood on arrival, a mood already blackened with inevitable conflict he’d shared with Mother.

At any rate, on this particular day, they started home with Bill driving.  According to Mother, he was driving like a maniac: driving too fast, following too closely, cutting people off.  I have no doubt this was true.  It was his typical manner.  She insisted he slow down.  He crept along at ten miles an hour, hoping that was slow enough to please her.  She’d finally had enough, telling him to pull over.  She’d drive.  He critiqued her driving as soon as she started.  “Speed up!  Don’t ride the clutch! Change Gears!”

Finally, she’d had enough.  She pulled over.  “Get out!”  Delighted, he hopped out, thinking she’d come to her senses and wanted him to drive.  She drove off and left him standing on a country road, thirty miles from home.  She enjoyed the rest of the peaceful drive.  At  home, Daddy wanted to know where Bill was.  “I left him somewhere close to Bossier City.”

Daddy was shocked she’d left the little fellow all alone in the wilderness.  “Well, You’d better go get him!  It’ll be dark soon!”

“You go get him if you want to!  I don’t care if he never gets home!”

Daddy was a lot better at giving orders than taking them, but he jumped in his truck to rescue his precious son and heir.  Billy met him at the end of the driveway, brought home by a Good Samaritan.  He’d somehow survived his abandonment but I think he still drives like a maniac.  I don’t think he and Mother voluntarily ride together till today

See attached picture if you care to put out APB on either

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Terror in the Night(repost)

Mother awoke to the chilling realization that someone trying to break in the house. “Bill! Bill! Wake up Bill! Someone’s trying to get in!!”   Daddy didn’t normally sleep: he went into a coma, but adrenaline jolted him into action. He grabbed his loaded shotgun and crept to the window.  In the darkness, a tiny light glowed in the darkness of the front porch.  It wasn’t just Mother’s imagination!  Someone was trying to get in! Continue reading

Ascending into Heaven with Elijah and Big Three Firsts

ElijahThe picture above stimulated the first mystical experience of my life.  One of three first experiences in a twenty-four hour period for me.  Quite a record for a six-year-old I’d say, not to mention, my future husband was linked to one of them.  My mother and her dear friend Mildred who’d just learned to drive, decided one cold evening when their husbands were at work they’d like to drive over and spend the evening with Mildred’s sister, Mary, who many years later was fortunate enough to become my mother-in-law.  While we were there Susie, Miss Mary’s prissy big girl, showed us little kids the glorious pictures in the big family bible, complete with terrifying stories of angels, devils, fire reigning down on Sodom and Gomorrah, and Adam and Eve being cast out of Eden.  It was awesome.

Long after dark, we started home.  Naturally, all the kids immediately fell asleep as soon as the car got warm and dark.  The next thing I knew, I saw blazing lights as we whirled around.  I realized immediately we were ascending into heaven in a whirlwind of fire but I wasn’t to happy about it!  Howling kids were tossed all over the car.  It turned out to be a far less heavenly experience.  We’d been hit by a drunk driver but somehow escaped serious injury or a trip to heaven.  The last thing my mother told me the next morning was not to tell my class that Johnny Jones daddy got drunk and hit our car.  I had no idea it was Johnny’s daddy who’d hit our car

I had my next new experience first thing the next morning at school.  I was the first up at our class’s first and last Show and Tell the next morning.  I had a black eye to Show and plenty to Tell.  Despite Mother’s warning, I felt the first grade really would be interested to know Johnny Jones’s father got drunk and hit our car.  Miss Angie made me hush and sit down.  We never had Show and Tell again, ever.  Johnny Jones and I got in a fight at recess.  We had to sit in the hall.  The third first for me.

http://lindaghill.com/2015/01/01/just-jot-it-january-pingback-post-and-rules,

Screaming Green Slime

You’d expect daily pandemonium in a household of seven but wait!  Like those infomercials on TV, we got two for the price of one!  And at no extra charge, Daddy and I both walked and talked in our sleep.  Most people have experience with people talking in their sleep, but sleep-walking less common.  The sleep-walker doesn’t look like the ones Continue reading