No Honor among Thieves

wildflowersI won’t bother to lie.  That was me you saw on the side of that country road or on that old home place in the country digging up plants..and that little, bitty old lady you saw with me; that was my mama.   She’s my look out and spotter. When arrested, I won’t even be able to claim the act was spontaneous, since I keep a nice little camping shovel and plastic bags under my truck seat especially for my thieving excursions.  I’ll probably try to explain that Mother has Alzheimer’s and escaped from me, but that might not fly, since I’ll be the one out wading in the muck while she’s standing by the truck, but I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. Just so you know, I’m not the only thief she raised.  My sister, Connie makes raids just like I do.  We both make sure to get enough to share, since it’s inevitable one of us will eventually get caught.  Bud swears he won’t bail me out, but I suspect he’ll come get me when he gets hungry.  Mother is on her own.  She should have raised us better.

Dozens of Cousins

Neither Corwin nor Kelvin could be rounded up for this  cousin picture.  They had other fish to fry.cousinsAunt Essie, like all of my aunts, was a wonder of fertility, if not child-rearing acumen.  She had seven of the meanest boys outside Alcatraz.  Thank God, her reproductive equipment gave out before she managed more.  I thought Mother was just exaggerating when she said they’d all end up in jail or dead before they were thirty.  She was wrong.  Only four of Continue reading

Desperate and Cold

My flight from Philadelphia was snowed out last winter.  The roads were closed, no cabs or shuttles running.  I had to catch the train to get back to New Jersey, a new and worrisome experience for me.  The trains were on a reduced scheduled,making my wait long and cold.  I had to walk a few blocks between train connections.  The entrance to the train station appeared to be locked.  It late, the snow was deep, and the streets were nearly deserted.  I was approached by a desperate young man.  He was waving at me and near tears.  Calling out , he addressed me, “Please help me.  Please don’t be mean to me.  I need help.  I just got out of jail.  I don’t have train fare to get home and have nowhere to turn.”

I knew just how he felt. “I need help,too.  Get me to an ATM at the train station and I’ll get us both home.”  He was overjoyed to help.  He carried my bag.  We walked together to the ATM in the station.  I found out he didn’t have any food at home, either.  I got twenty dollars. He got us both a ticket. I told him to keep the change and be safe.  We hugged and parted, both grateful for the help, both happy!  We needed each other that night.