Mother gets pretty hot about a few things. One of these is problems with mail delivery. One day, she got to her mailbox to find her mail tattered,torn, and lying on the ground. Worst of all, a government check had been ripped. Somebody was going to pay for this crime! Rabid with rage, she cornered a couple of kids who gladly gave up the perpetrator to save their own sorry hides. They’d seen a little blonde-haired girl with pig-tails standing on her pink tricycle rifling through Mother’s box. Mother gave the little snitches a five dollar reward after they located the child’s tricycle parked in front of a house two streets over.
Armed with this information, Mother called the Sheriff’s Department to report the heinous crime. Regaling him every shocking detail, the criminal’s description, description of the getaway vehicle, and last known address. The deputy laughed, asking if she’d had the check back.
“Yes, but that’s not the point. I want this stopped! Tampering with the mail is a Federal Crime!”
“Lady, what do you want me to do, put out an APB on a little three-year-old girl on a pink tricycle?”