What the Heck! Old People Don’t Get Married!

Reblog of an old post.  Original art by Kathleen Swain who is now 87.  This is her story.

Nutsrok

Wuppin' Mama0006Cousin Katie got married!  What the heck!  Old people don’t married. An old man and his old, old grouchy mama came to visit.   I was only four in 1932 and got this news, like most of life’s important information, from my favorite eavesdropping post under the table. I pretended to play with my paper dolls as Mama and Katie drank coffee and learned Katie

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Footloose and Fancyfree (Part 2)

Repost:

 

True - Wedding Dresses for Pregnant Women

Even though the occasion of Bobo and Inez’s marriage preceeded my birth by a few days, Mother has told me the story so often, I feel I was there. Bobo showed up with his bride just hours after they married. No doubt, he was proud of her. He was twenty-seven; she, fifteen and visibly pregnant. Now, he’d be arrested. Quite a buxom lass, she was lovely. Continue reading

Afternoon Funny

'I dare you to ask Jeeves about the birds and the bees!'

Bnb 4 Bnb 5

Beatrice wished her husband was around to have 'the talk' with their maturing son, The she remembered his absence was her fault,

Beatrice wished her husband was around to have ‘the talk’ with their maturing son, The she remembered his absence was her fault,

Hoping for a boy or girl?

Hoping for a boy or girl?

birds-bees 1

Until I was eleven the only knowledge I had of how boy’s anatomy was an occasional peek at a little boy during a diaper change and a quick image of a whirling behind if I happened to walk catch a brother, or a cousin sneaking a pee outdoors.  From that, I mainly felt envy that I couldn’t pee on stuff.

Imagine my surprise when my friend Margaret informed me exactly what the facts of life entailed. She even called it “The Facts of Life.”  Her story:  Mr. Brown who topped three hundred pounds easily, took off all his clothes, every night, and stuck his peanut in Mrs. Brown, who coincidentally weighed at least two hundred pounds.  He peed inside her and laid on top of her all night.  I knew this wasn’t possible.  Anybody that walrus laid on all night would be smushed.  Mrs. Brown was not smushed.  She had enormous breasts, and a pendulous belly.  I told Margaret she was lying and went straight to my mother.

I told Mother, Margaret had told me a big lie, the “Facts of Life.”  I guess Mother thought I had gotten a prettier version.  She was annoyed, saying she intended to tell me herself.  She went ahead and gave me her version, involving a boy and girl falling in love and getting married.  True, they did indulge in some “intimacies”, her word.  These “intimacies” would result in a baby.  I was never to even consider such a thing until I was married.

Armed with her confirmation of the truth Margaret had told me, the picture of Mr. and Mrs. Brown burned in my mind, I assured her it would NEVER happen!  They should teach this version in schools.

Great Marriage Quotes

  1. “A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason – and indeed all the sweets of life.” ~ Joseph Addison
  2. “A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries.” ~ anonymous
  3. “You don’t need to be on the same wavelength to succeed in marriage. You just need to be able to ride each other’s waves.” ~ Toni Sciarra Poynter
  4. “Spouse: someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.” ~ Anonymous
  5. “We don’t love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities.” ~ Jacques Maritain
  6. “Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.” – Samuel Johnson
    “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin
  7. “The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly.” ~Peter De Vriesimage image image image
  8. “To keep the fire burning brightly there’s one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart – about a finger’s breadth – for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.” ~Marnie Reed Crowell
  9. “A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous.” ~ Ingrid Bergman
  10. “Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” ~Simone Signoret
  11. “A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.” ~ Anne Taylor Fleming
  12. “Woke up in bed with a gorgeous woman, who I’m going to have lunch and the rest of my life with.” ~ Jason Barmer
  13. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” ~ Albert Einstein
  14. “One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.” ~ Judith Viorst
  15. “In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.” ~ Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire
  16. “In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all.” ~ Anne Sophie Swetchine
  17. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.” ~ Paul Sweeney
  18. “Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage.” ~ Finnish Proverb
  19. “A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.” ~ James H. Boren
  20. “Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” ~ Mark Twain
  21. “Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.” ~ Gene Perret
  22. “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” ~ Andre Maurois
  23. “There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” ~ Martin Luther
  24. “We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and call it love – true love.” ~ Robert Fulghugm

See What All that Marrying Gets You!

Surprise party

I’ve never properly introduced you to my family.  You hear me tease and torment my mother Kathleen in my blog all the time.  She’s a good sport, and believe me, she gives as good as she gets.  Luckily, she lives very close to me.  I see her several times a week, and speak to her at least daily.  Mother illustrates my blog.  She has always loved sketching but came into professional art late in life. Continue reading

Rescue Dinner

imageBud is a good man, but I can’t live with him when he’s hungry.  I have no doubt he’d lay down his life from me, but I do believe he’d rather I ran around with another man than cook around on him.  Anyway, I digress.  At five p.m. Today, it occurred to me I’d never made it to the grocery store today. I had an egg plant, half a pound of ground sausage, 1/2 cup leftover brown gravy, and half a cup of frozen seasoned bread crumbs.  I sautéed half a diced onion and some fresh garlic and the sausage. To the mix I added chopped eggplant, while cooking the shelled out eggplant in the microwave for two minutes.  I seasoned the mix with salt, pepper, parsley, Tony Zacharie’s Cajun Seasoning, sprinkled with Feta cheese and baked at 400 degrees for 20 minutes.  It was excellent served with home canned green beans.  I am still married.

Five Photos, Five Stories Day One Hard Time Marrying

Man and kids (2)Thanks Author S B Mazing for challenging me to join her Five Photos, Five Stories.  This is just the type challenge I love.  It stimulates me to do what I want to do.  I will be writing a series based on vintage photos.  This will eventually become a book.  I have four others in front of it.  Who knows if it might push itself further up the line? I don’t know the story behind this photograph since it came from an estate sale.  I just love it.  It hangs in my writing room.  I know I am not telling the true story, but at least I am giving my friends a voice.  Now, the best part, I’d like to challenge Mom, at Maybe someone should write that down to join me.  I just love her stories and pictures!

Hard Time Marrying

Their union had a bleak start.  Meeting at the train in the freezing rain, she clutched his letter.  They married minutes later at the preacher’s house, barely speaking as they shivered the two hours home in his open wagon.  In her letter, she’d not mentioned the two little ones, though with all fairness, the marriage was only one of need on both parts. They were proof she could bear the children he hoped for.  Burning with fever by the time they got to his homestead; dead by the next sundown, she left him with two little ones he had no taste for.  Barely reaching his knee, they toddled mutely in perpetual ,soggy diapers dragging to their knees, uttering gibberish only they understood.  As soon as he could get her wrapped in a quilt, he buried this stranger wife and headed back to dusty Talphus, Texas with the sad burden of her orphaned little ones.  The church or the town would have to do for them.  Loading them in a snug in a bed of hay, wrapped in a ragged quilt, hay heaped over them.  he pitied and grieved for them on the long trip back to town, knowing the hard life they faced.  Stopping several times to make sure they were warmly covered, he was relieved to find them pink and warm.

He hardened his heart against them, knowing only too well the life they were facing.  He’d never known family, just been passed from hand to hand.

to be continued

 

 

Footloose and Fancyfree (Part 2)

Even though the occasion of Bobo and Inez’s marriage preceeded my birth by a few days, Mother has told me the story so often, I feel I was there. Bobo showed up with his bride just hours after they married. No doubt, he was proud of her. He was twenty-seven; she, fifteen and visibly pregnant. Now, he’d be arrested. Quite a buxom lass, she was lovely. Continue reading

My Parents’ Marriage (from Kathleen’s Memoirs of The Great Depression)

Grandma young adult0007family6homestead (2)The top picture is of Mary Elizabeth Perkins about the time she married.  The second is of Mary Elizabeth and Roscoe Holdaway when they were in their late sixties or early seventies. The third picture is of the Holdaway Homestead in Red River County Texas.  The young blond man in the center with the bicycle was Roscoe.  He was eighteen at the time this was taken.  He was twenty-eight and Mary Elizabeth twenty-two at the time of their marriage. They probably didn’t expect to have children since their first child wasn’t born for six years.  This is the story of their courtship and marriage from the memoirs of their daughter Kathleen. Continue reading