The Moral of the Story is………..

Free BirdThree missionaries went to a remote island in the Pacific.  A stream divided the island.  Their predecessors advised them. “Never,ever cross that stream.  The monstrous Foo Bird patrols that side of the island.  Should you cross that stream, the Foo Bird will poop on you.  The smell is horrendous.  It never wears off.  If you wash it off, you will die.”

Naturally, the missionaries were burning with Christian Zeal.  The first thing they did was cross the stream to spread the message.  Sure enough, the Foo Bird pooped on as they stepped out of the stream.  The first missionary rushed back into the stream to wash it off.  He died on the spot as the other two watched in amazement.

About a week later, the smell was just as bad.  The two were constantly nauseated.  The second missionary couldn’t take it anymore.  He waded into the stream for a bath.  He died.

The third missionary suffered five long years till he decided life just wasn’t worth living like this.  He’d have to wash this poop off, even if it killed him.  He waded in and died.

The moral of the story is, if the Foo sh–ts, wear it!

It’s Snot What You Think

Snotty girl0004Illustration by Kathleen Swain

Unless you’ve been cursed with a prissy, goody-two-shoes older sister, you couldn’t possibly appreciate this, so just go on with whatever you were doing. If you want to commiserate, jump right in. Phyllis was three years older than I. This put her just far enough ahead of me that all the teachers and Sunday School teachers were still raving Continue reading