Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – Christmas book promotions, music, humour and guests.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

This week has certainly flown by with a few Mary Poppins moments with umbrellas in the rain and high winds. Just as well I have not got rid of that excess stone I was planning on misplacing before Christmas!

Do not take this as a free pass to do what you like eating wise over the festive season (well okay then . eat what you like)..but I am re-releasing my first book Size Matters in 2019 updated and revised to reflect new research and also my experience in the last 20 years as a nutritional therapist – I am going to do this via the blog by editing and updating each chapter on the blog in the first three months of the year. If you are thinking about getting fitter and eating healthier then you might like to take it one step at a time.

The first part of the…

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Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Christmas Guest Post – Flease Don’t Come Home for Christmas, Willie Tharpe by Linda Bethea

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Flease Don’t Come Home for Christmas, Willie Tharpe

Daddy wasn’t just a magnet for strange characters. He beat the bushes to flush them out. If that hadn’t worked, I believe he’d have up tacked up posters. Mother had no way of anticipating who he might drag in for supper, overnight, or until further notice. I never did understand why she didn’t murder Daddy. He must have slept sometime! Willie Tharpe was a holdover from Daddy’s childhood.

Daddy came in late from work one evening a few days before Christmas about eight-thirty, after one of his rambles, as he so often did. Though he worked shift work, Mother could never anticipate his arrival. As the “Man of the House” his time was his own. Making the living was his only responsibility. It was up to Mother to handle the rest. That evening, Willie Tharpe creaked up behind him in an ancient…

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Awful Christmas

Nutsrok

Our neighbors, the Alstons were both just a smidge off-plumb.  Mother never referred to the kids any way but as “the Awfuls”,  so I inferred that was the surname of these totally undisciplined urchins.  I was unceasinly envious of their unbridled freedom.  They ate, slept, and rambled at their pleasure, while I chafed at the unreasonable restraints of my miserable life.

Like the rest of us, they couldn’t wait for Christmas. Every year, they starting finding their presents about a week before Christmas.  Daily, one of them turned up something new. One day, Randy had a brand new basketball. The next, Jamey had a new baseball and glove. On Christmas Eve morning Davey buzzed by on a beautiful new Spitfire Bike with a horn. Boy, did that make me mad! I had asked my Mother for that very bike. She said Santa didn’t have enough money to bring me a…

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The Ugly Face of Racism …

Filosofa's Word

Until a few days ago, the name Cindy Hyde-Smith had no meaning to me, but it has popped up on nearly every media outlet I’ve seen in the past several days.

Who is Cindy Hyde-Smith? 

Hyde-SmithCindy Hyde-Smith is the junior United States Senator from Mississippi, in office since April 2018.  A member of the Republican Party, she was previously the Mississippi Commissioner of Agriculture and Commerce and a member of the Mississippi State Senate.  In 1999, Hyde-Smith was elected to the Mississippi State Senate as a Democrat. She represented the 39th district from 2000 to 2012. In 2010, Hyde-Smith switched parties and became a Republican, citing her conservative beliefs.

On March 21, 2018, Governor Phil Bryant announced his intention to appoint Hyde-Smith to the United States Senate seat being vacated due to the resignation of Thad Cochran due to health issues.  She ran in the November 6th mid-term elections…

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye – How to Turk the Carvey and Quickies.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Debby Gies has been scouring the Internet for some funnies to share with you as my guest… D.G. Kaye Writer Blog and I have been delving into the archives for a quickie or two…..

Thanks again Debby you are doing a stand up job…...

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog:http://www.dgkayewriter.com – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Now for those Quickies…..

  • One good turn gets most of the blankets.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians – the quick and the dead.
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
    say, talk in your sleep.
  • Every morning is the dawn of a new error…..
  • A flying saucer results when…

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Drinking Joke: The Three Brothers

Lords of the Drinks

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 pints…

Through the years we gathered quite a few jokes about drinking and drunkards on this website, which you can all find right here. With the collection growing it’s not always easy to find funny new ones, but we think we have another one. It’s a joke starring 3 beer drinking Irish brothers, so that should be a good start. Enjoy.

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedians D.G. Kaye and Eric and Joy Lennick.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

I have two guest comedians today…some funnies that were spotted by D.G. Kaye Writer Blog and Eric and Joy Lennick Amazon have contributed the joke..

First some funnies from Debby Gies…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog:http://www.dgkayewriter.com – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

And to finish a limerick from Eric Lennick

“FROZEN REVENGE”

A lady whose name was Theresa
shut her old man in the freezer.
By playing the field…
he got himself killed,
and he’s now with the sprouts and the pizza.”

Joy Lennick, Buy:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Joy-Lennick/e/B00J05CJLY/
Blog: https://joylennick.wordpress.com/

I hope you have enjoyed these funnies and if you have any you would like to contribute, new material is always welcome… send your favourite jokes to sally.cronin@moyhill.com and get a mention for your books and blog too..

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