Three women go to Mexico to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her. The second, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. “I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” They switch is thrown and nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her. The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this t
Emma Sue died during the night and Her husband Buddy called 911. 911 operator told Buddy that she would send someone out right away. “Where do you live?” asked the operator.
Buddy replied, “At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.”
The operator asked, “Can you spell that for me?”
There was a long pause and finally Buddy said, “How ’bout if I just drag her over to Oak Street.”
Redneck Computer Terms
Hard drive – Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
Keyboard – Place to hang your truck keys.
Window – Place in the truck to hang your guns.
Modem – How you got rid of your dandelions. Usage: “We gonna modem dandelions”
ROM – Liquor often mixed with Coke
Byte – Beginning of an insult, often followed by the word “me” or “this”
Cursor – The person doing the cursing. What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
Tab – What you owe the bartender
Shift – How you get to a different gear.
RAM – Great truck
Edit – Past tense of “eat” “Wher’d that leftover possum belly go?” ” You edit afore you passed out las nite.
Internet – Where her fish were when she caught em ( In er net).
Fonts – That really cool guy from the show, Happy Days.
Laptop – Where the stripper sits.