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Joe spent the evening tossing down a number of beers at the local bar. It was after eleven o’clock when he finally staggered out into the cold and rainy night in an attempt to find his way home. With the weather as bad as it was, he soon became lost, and found himself wandering through the town Cemetery. He slipped while walking and fell headlong into a freshly dug grave. In his condition, the rain and mud proved too much to handle, and he couldn’t manage to climb out.
“Help!” he cried out. “Help! I’m so cold!”

Before long a  second, really drunk guy came stumbling along.  Hearing his compatriot’s cries, he remarked.   “No wonder you are cold..  You kicked off all your dirt!”

'That's just a figure of speech. It doesn't mean that whenever there's a rainy day you can go and spend it all!'

‘That’s just a figure of speech. It doesn’t mean that whenever there’s a rainy day you can go and spend it all!’

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So kind of you to carry my brolly for me, Son!

So kind of you to carry my brolly for me, Son!

One rainy day at work, one of my colleagues, Thomas, came across from the other side of the building to ours. Just to start a conversation, another colleague, Peggy, asked, “Is it raining heavily outside?” Without any expression, Thomas said, “Sorry, I did not carry a weighing machine.”

Lost on a rainy Friday night, a priest stumbles into a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, he`s just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips he`s ever had. After dinner, he goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. He is met by two brothers, “Hello, I`m Brother Michael, and this is Brother Francis.” “I`m very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I`ve ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?” Brother Charles replied, “Well, I`m the fish friar.” Father turns to the other brother and says, “Then you must be….” “Yes, I`m afraid I`m the chip monk…”