Jokes About Men

(disclaimer:someone asked for jokes about men)

What should you give a man who has everything?

  A woman to show him how to work it.

  What’s a man’s idea of honesty in a relationship?

  Telling you his real name.

  What’s the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?

  Put the remote control between his toes.

  What’s the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man?

  Big Foot’s been spotted several times.

  What’s the smartest thing a man can say?

  “My wife says….”

  Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners?

  So men can understand them.

  Why did God create man before woman?

  Because you’re always supposed to have a rough draft before creating  your masterpiece.

  Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?

  To stop the snoring before it starts.

  Why do jocks play on artificial turf?

  To keep them from grazing.

  Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?

  Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

  Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

  Because not one will stop and ask for directions.