Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye – How to Turk the Carvey and Quickies.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Debby Gies has been scouring the Internet for some funnies to share with you as my guest… D.G. Kaye Writer Blog and I have been delving into the archives for a quickie or two…..

Thanks again Debby you are doing a stand up job…...

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog:http://www.dgkayewriter.com – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Now for those Quickies…..

  • One good turn gets most of the blankets.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians – the quick and the dead.
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
    say, talk in your sleep.
  • Every morning is the dawn of a new error…..
  • A flying saucer results when…

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Laugh Your Way With Best Thanksgivin Jokes of the Day

Nutsrok

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An industrious farmer was always experimenting with breeding, his mission was to produce the perfect turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone.

After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store. ‘Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has six legs!’ They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

‘I don’t know, ‘said the farmer, ‘I never could catch one!”

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Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Guest Writer #Family – #Houston Fire Ants and Murderers by Linda Bethea

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Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Time to catch up with Linda’s family adventures… and having arrived safely in Houston on the back of a flat bed truck… time to get settled in. Also an opportunity to meet the neighbours… not all as welcoming as would be hoped.

Houston Fire Ants and Murderers by Linda Bethea

Grandma slipped out the back door with a laundry basket as I awoke. Naturally, I followed. Though I was only five, I already knew she was short It took her several tries to heave yesterday’s dusty quilts over the clothesline.

She sputtered with frustration as she whacked them with a broom. Red dust flew “I didn’t put all this work in my quilts just to have ‘em pitched up on the back of that beat up old truck!”

I left her to her business to investigate a large conical mound just outside the back door. It looked so appealing, I…

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Drinking Joke: The Three Brothers

Lords of the Drinks

A man walks into a bar and orders 3 pints…

Through the years we gathered quite a few jokes about drinking and drunkards on this website, which you can all find right here. With the collection growing it’s not always easy to find funny new ones, but we think we have another one. It’s a joke starring 3 beer drinking Irish brothers, so that should be a good start. Enjoy.

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedians D.G. Kaye and Eric and Joy Lennick.

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

I have two guest comedians today…some funnies that were spotted by D.G. Kaye Writer Blog and Eric and Joy Lennick Amazon have contributed the joke..

First some funnies from Debby Gies…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog:http://www.dgkayewriter.com – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

And to finish a limerick from Eric Lennick

“FROZEN REVENGE”

A lady whose name was Theresa
shut her old man in the freezer.
By playing the field…
he got himself killed,
and he’s now with the sprouts and the pizza.”

Joy Lennick, Buy:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Joy-Lennick/e/B00J05CJLY/
Blog: https://joylennick.wordpress.com/

I hope you have enjoyed these funnies and if you have any you would like to contribute, new material is always welcome… send your favourite jokes to sally.cronin@moyhill.com and get a mention for your books and blog too..

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Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedians D.G. Kaye and Linda Bethea

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

More funnies from the eagle-eyedD.G. Kaye Writer Blog 

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog:http://www.dgkayewriter.com – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Thanks very much Debby and here is a joke to finish you off from the blog of the ever entertaining Linda Bethea

Farmer Brown had dozens of hens, but no rooster, so he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster for sale. The other farmer says, “Yeah, I’ve this great rooster, named Rudy. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem.” Well, Rudy the rooster costs a lot of money, but, farmer decides he’d be worth it. So, he buys him and takes the rooster home. He then sets him down in the barnyard and gives the rooster a pep talk, “Rudy, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here…

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