First some funnies from Debby Gies…
And to finish a limerick from Eric Lennick
A lady whose name was Theresa
shut her old man in the freezer.
By playing the field…
he got himself killed,
and he’s now with the sprouts and the pizza.”
Joy Lennick, Buy:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Joy-Lennick/e/B00J05CJLY/
I hope you have enjoyed these funnies and if you have any you would like to contribute, new material is always welcome… send your favourite jokes to email@example.com and get a mention for your books and blog too..
More funnies from the eagle-eyedD.G. Kaye Writer Blog
Thanks very much Debby and here is a joke to finish you off from the blog of the ever entertaining Linda Bethea
Farmer Brown had dozens of hens, but no rooster, so he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster for sale. The other farmer says, “Yeah, I’ve this great rooster, named Rudy. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem.” Well, Rudy the rooster costs a lot of money, but, farmer decides he’d be worth it. So, he buys him and takes the rooster home. He then sets him down in the barnyard and gives the rooster a pep talk, “Rudy, I want you to pace yourself now. You’ve got a lot of chickens to service here…
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Time for another of Linda Bethea’s humour filled and heartfelt posts about family life. This week having a mother-in-law stay can be an adventure…. You can find Linda’s other posts Here
Illustration by Kathleen Holdaway Swain
Grandma Holdaway came from Texas to spend a couple of weeks two or three times a year.
On arrival, Grandma was always in high spirits, delighted to see her youngest daughter and grandchildren after a long absence. She arrived, laden with gifts for us all, even including a pair of socks, ashtray, or coffee cup for Daddy. It was always clear she and Daddy were trying to get along for Mother’s sake, a woman they both loved. Their efforts wore thin as the days wore on, particularly on his days off when he couldn’t escape her questions about his personal business and his extended family. None of this endeared her to Daddy…
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I am delighted to say that Volume Two of What’s in a Name: Stories of Life and Romance is now live on Amazon and shortly on Smashwords in EPub.
Also in by the end of the summer there will be a print version of both volumes together with a total of 37 stories.
The theme is still related to the names that we are given.. In the first volume the stories were about people who were given names that were already famous or had significance within a family that they felt they needed to live up to.
In this volume the names are ordinary but their owners are anything but.
There are 16 stories and a bonus story to promote a new collection of stories in 2018.
About What’s In a Name – Volume Two.
Our legacy is not always about money or fame, but rather in the way that…
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It has always been a joy to hear my sister Phyllis read aloud. Till my last days, I will cherish a few days during school Christmas vacation in 1961. Phyllis was enjoying reading Great Expectations in her ninth grade English class and offered to read a few pages aloud. Daddy was working second shift at the paper mill, so once he left and the remains of the noon meal were cleared away, we settled in the cozy living room for a reading. I would have been eleven, Billy, eight, and Connie and Marilyn, two and a few months old. Enraptured by the story of Pip, the cruel Estella, and the mad Miss Havisham, I would
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My dog is cheating on me. He begs to go out then only stands in the drive and looks longingly at the neighbor’s house. I do believe, if I allowed it, he’d howl a serenade under the lady’s window. A few times, she’s stopped to visit and pet him. You’d think think she’d invited him into her life. Puffing out his chest, he peed impressively, then kicked up a huge cloud of dust. to show what a mighty fellow he is. In all honesty, his bladder capacity is astounding since he’s a mastiff, but I don’t think it makes her want him more., nor does his habit of making a beeline to sniff her nether portions.
Worse yet, if he gets more than twenty feet ahead of me, he goes stone deaf. Buzzy, my other dog, suffers the same malady. Though we have a two-acre yard with plenty of poop room, they are both desperate to leave surprises for the neighbors. Early on, I made sure they knew the perimeter of our yard. Since then, they’ve both try not to go inside its boundaries. If they got their heart’s desire, we’d be surrounded by a poop fence on all four sides ten feet just outside our property lines. Buzzy’s deposits are offensive enough, but Croc’s leavings are mountainous.and would soon obscure the view if left to lie. We’d be run out of the neighborhood if they got their wish.
I need to call these guys for an estimate.