Time for Some Laffs – Blondes have more fun… I know from experience!

Smorgasbord - Variety is the spice of life

The beauty of being blonde and having a touch of the Irish is that there are many jokes you can tell without getting told off. As I am now well into my 60s I can also tell elderly jokes if I remember them.

I have rifled through my drawers (pardon the expression) an unearthed some jokes that have been sent to me.

Anyway… Have fun with this selection and pass them on as laughter is infectious and so much more healthier than the usual virus.

The connecting images have been kindly donated by the wonderful author Tina Frisco and details of how to buy her latest book is at the bottom of the post.

A natural Blonde!

A blonde in first class refuses to move when the ticket holder who paid for the seat boards, saying only, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to LA to be a star –…

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U.S. Blogging Event Details

Reblog. Get on board!

Life of an El Paso Woman

wp-1490197008047.jpgChicago Prime Italian

Hi everyone. First of all, I want to say thank you so much for your patience and support! I’m excited to say we finally have a location for the first U.S. Blogging Event! Please feel free to reblog and/or share on social media. Here it is below:

wp-1490198552232.jpgOur dinner and awards ceremony will be held at Chicago Prime Italian in Schaumburg, Illinois on Saturday Aug. 26, 2017 at 6 p.m. for three to four hours. Depending on traffic, Schaumburg is about 40 minutes away from Chicago using public transportation or a taxi. You may even be able to stay in Schaumburg. We decided on Schaumburg because costs were more reasonable than Chicago. Since there is a deposit to hold the restaurant, I will need a payment of $5.50 from each person who is attending. The $5.50 will go towards holding the restaurant for us and the final bill. The payment can…

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The Honorable Bacon Boy and Puppy Love

Nutsrok

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American Eskimo dogs stole our hearts many years ago when George showed up at our house and adopted us. No matter that we already had a Dalmatian and weren’t in the market for another dog. Unfortunately, George left us far too soon. It wasn’t long before another puppy baby puddled up our floors. I gave Bubba a fuzzy white plush toy to comfort him leaving his mom and siblings. He dragged it till it was nothing but dirty body parts. Just before it bit the dust, the UPS man showed up at the door with this plush toy we ordered from Beggin’ Strips. Bubba, like all dogs, believed that UPS man showed up only to steal our stuff, so was frenzied as always. He was overjoyed when we opened the box and he pulled Bacon Boy from the box. It was just as he’d expected, the UPS guy almost…

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Afternoon Funny/Top 10 Reasons Dogs Are Better Pets Than Cats

Nutsrok

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1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say.
Cats will ignore you and take a nap.

2. Cats look silly on a leash.

3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face.
Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.

4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will
make you pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born.

5. A dog knows when you’re sad. And he’ll try to comfort you. Cats don’t
care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.

6. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your
slippers.

7. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you.

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Hysteria in the Night

Nutsrok

man and womanMother awoke to the chilling realization that someone was trying to break in the house. “Bill! Bill! Wake up Bill! Somebody’s trying to get in!!”   Daddy didn’t normally sleep: he went into a coma, but adrenaline jolted him into action. He grabbed his loaded shotgun and crept to the window.  In the darkness, a tiny light glowed in the darkness of the front porch.  It wasn’t just Mother’s imagination!  Someone was trying to get in!

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If Men Had Babies

Nutsrok

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Daddy loved going to doctors and taking medicines.  He walked through one morning as Mother’s friend mentioned she was seeing Dr Bert Mason, praising him to Mother. Upon hearing this recommendation of a doctor he had no experience of, his ears perked up.  Pondering Shirley’s recommendation as he went about his business, he did a total body assessment, trying to determine what imperfect body part might be most in need of attention.  Like most people over forty, at any time he could likely zero in on problem or two.  His knee was cranky, uncomfortable in foul weather.  Seasonal allergies were an ongoing problem.  Indigestion was a common visitor.  Maybe he should see Dr. Mason. He made a note to have mother call for an appointment when he got back in the house.

Two weeks later, they hurried in to the doctor’s office.  He settled in while Mother registered him.  They…

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Road Rage and Big-Eared Old Fornicators

Nutsrok

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'I certainly don't get tailgated anymore!' ‘I certainly don’t get tailgated anymore!’

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Bud likes to road grouch.  I don’t.  I figure people mostly do the best they can, so I just watch out for them.  Bud likes to hurl useless epithets like “crazy old woman of some sort” and “big-eared old fornicator” at men.  The insults are mostly wasted on me, but I have pointed out the high improbability of big-eared old guys meriting the compliment of fornicator, but I guess he is just being generous. Even so, it doesn’t sound fair. Why is crazy or fornicator gender-specific? I do kind of take exception to the limitations on ladies.  I guess he isn’t into equal opportunity.
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