Morning Jokes

fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy standing nearby with his little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. The boy is wearing a fireman’s hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.

The fireman says “Hey little boy. What are you doing?” The little boy says “I’m a fireman and this is my fire truck!” The fireman walks over to take a closer look. “Little boy that sure is a nice fire truck!” the fireman says.

“Thanks mister”, says the little boy. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little boy has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles.

“Little boy”, says the fireman, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog’s neck I think you could go faster.”

The little boy says, “You’re probably right mister, but then I wouldn’t have a siren!”

A man is driving down a deserted country road when he has a blowout. Not having a spare he finally finds a house and asks the lady if he can use her phone to call for a tow-truck. As she opens the door for him to come in, a Three Legged Pig runs out.  He asks “why does that Pig only have three legs?” She says that they had a fire and the pig woke everybody up and then went back and brought the dog out. He said “but why does the Pig only have three legs?”  She said well another time my son was playing on the ice and it broke and he fell in and the Pig ran to the barn and got a rope and saved him. Again he asked “why does the Pig only have three legs?” After all the Pig did for us, it didn’t seem right to eat him all at once.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/threeleggedpigjoke.html

Q: What do you call a pig thief? A: A hamburglar.

Q: How do pigs write top secret messages? A: With invisible oink!

Q: What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? A: Pulled-Pork

Q: What is a pig’s favorite color? A: Mahogany!

Q: What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig? A: A lifetime ban from the Muppet Show studio.

Q: What do you call a pig with no legs? A: A groundhog. Q: Why was the pig ejected from the football game? A: For playing dirty.

Q: Why did the pig cross the road? A: He got BOARed.

Q: What do you call a pig with laryngitis? A: Disgruntled.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/pigjokes.html