1. Β Curiosity: Β Go ahead and see what you can whip up. Drift into a hormone-induced fog Β thinking how great it would be to have a baby with all the combined charm of you and your sweetie. Β Realistically, that baby is just as likely to exercise its genetic options and come up with a nice mix of Cousin Fred and and Aunt Myrtle’s worst traits.
2.Β Karma. Β You have to “pay for your raising.” Β I can’t tell you how many times my mom wished “fifteen kids who act just like you” on me. Β What a horrible thing to curse a kid with! Β The woman had no conscience! Β Nothing makes you forgive your parents’ horrendous mistakes like screwing up your own kids.
3.Β Kids keep you humble. Β Nobody knows more about raising kids than folks who’ve never had one. Β There is no surer way to ensure your kid will humiliate you on a regular basis than to criticize somebody else’s kid. Β Never, never, never say, “my kid wouldn’t do that.” Β They are probably doing it right then on the six o’clock news.
4.Β Budgeting is no problem once you have kids. Β Except for rent, groceries, and utilities, and minimal clothes for yourself, everything goes for kid expenses. Β It will be many years before you have to Β bother yourself about fancy cars, entertainment, vacation, savings, or investments.
5.Β Educational benefits. Β I never realized how little I knew until my first night home with a new baby. Β Nothing I did worked. Β Though child care looked simple enough, nothing I’d ever done prepared me for the challenge. Β As they grew older, my incompetence grew exponentially. Β By the time they were teenagers, I barely had enough functioning brain cells to tie my shoes. Β Thank God, a few years after they left home, I seemed to be functioning moderately well. Β It’s amazing how children in the home makes parental IQs plummet.
6.Β Hopefully, they get grown and give you beautiful, well-behaved grandchildren, asking you to babysit only on rare occasions.