Laugh Your Way With the Best Guilt Joke of the Day


guilty2 guilty3

'What are these for?  You only bring me flowers when you've done something good.'

‘What are these for? You only bring me flowers when you’ve done something good.’

guilty5 guilty6 guilty7 guilty 8 guilty9

'Son, your mother and I don't even recognize you anymore.  You've become some sort of twisted animal.'

‘Son, your mother and I don’t even recognize you anymore. You’ve become some sort of twisted animal.’

Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,
I hope you are well. Please don’t worry about me. I’m just fine considering I can’t breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother. I’ve sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you’ll spend on my beautiful grandchildren, who I never see. God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. They look anemic in their pictures, poor, thin babies.
Thank you so much for the birthday flowers, dear boy. I put them in the freezer so they’ll stay fresh for my grave.  I know I’ll need them any day.  Which reminds me — we buried Aunt Lucy last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning for a good funeral, so Aunt Minnie and I dug her up and had the services all over again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come. I bet she’s never even watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has she? I am still suffering.
Well son, it’s time for me to drag myself to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don’t you worry about me. I’m also getting used to the cold since they turned my heat off and am grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now don’t you even think about sending any more money, because I know you need it for those expensive family holidays you take every year, though you never come see me. Give my love to my darling grand-babies and my regards to whatever-her-name-is — the one with the black roots who stole you screaming from my bosom.
Love Always, Your poor, old mother

Advertisements

So You Think You’re Having a Bad Day

Nicholas Hood III Ministries

Make a Difference in the World!

David Palethorpe

The thoughts, dreams and ideas of an insignificant speck of humanity in the Universe 😀

What You Blog About

Let the world know what you blog about

prairiemom.me

A Montana girl + an Alabama boy = Asher (7), Emilyn (5), Marsielle (3), Baby Muggins... and our life on a corporate cow ranch

No Facilities

Random thoughts, life lessons, hopes and dreams

Carrot Ranch Literary Community

Wrangling literary arts for writers: words for people!

The Bag Lady

The Secret of Change Is to Focus All of Your Energy, Not on Fighting the Old, But on Building the New - Socrates

lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown

Reflections on Life through poetry, essays and photos

Ampersand

Lifestyle blog for the highly caffeinated, wildly passionate, live-out-loud twenty-something's

It's a Thought

I had a thought, you are reading it.

Confessions of an Admin Junkie

Insights from an experienced A/E/C administrator on how to grow professionally and personally in an admin role

ThoughtsnLifeBlog

Our Thoughts Influence our Life

agoyvaerts

To observe, to be enchanted, and to enjoy the simple stuff in life, is truly a delight.

The Write Stuff

"Writers Helping Writers" with Marcia Meara & Friends

Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

Echoes of Life, Love and Laughter

INDIA RISES

The untold truths.....

pensitivity101

An onion has many layers. So have I!

Nicholas Hood III Ministries

Make a Difference in the World!

David Palethorpe

The thoughts, dreams and ideas of an insignificant speck of humanity in the Universe 😀

What You Blog About

Let the world know what you blog about

prairiemom.me

A Montana girl + an Alabama boy = Asher (7), Emilyn (5), Marsielle (3), Baby Muggins... and our life on a corporate cow ranch

No Facilities

Random thoughts, life lessons, hopes and dreams

Carrot Ranch Literary Community

Wrangling literary arts for writers: words for people!

The Bag Lady

The Secret of Change Is to Focus All of Your Energy, Not on Fighting the Old, But on Building the New - Socrates

lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown

Reflections on Life through poetry, essays and photos

Ampersand

Lifestyle blog for the highly caffeinated, wildly passionate, live-out-loud twenty-something's

%d bloggers like this: