Lessons From Michael

A few months into my first nursing job, I met Michael, the patient who put me on the road to true nursing. Still limping down the painful road from enjoying success in nursing school to putting it into practice, I drove home most days thinking, “I can’t go back tomorrow. I can’t go back tomorrow.” I lived in terror of getting caught alone with a patient whose survival depended on all that “nursing magic” that had so far eluded me.  Orienting on an acute dialysis unit, my only useful skills were a pretty good nursing vocabulary, understanding of aseptic technique, and the complete understanding that there was no question too stupid for me to ask. I would have never have made it if my supervisor had been one of those who “ate her young.” (terrorized new nurses)

I was assigned to care for Michael. Though I didn’t voice it, I thought Michael’s family ought to think twice before subjecting him to dialysis. He was thirty-six years old with Down’s Syndrome and its many cardiac complications, diabetic, had hepatitis B, and now needed dialysis. I worried about how he would deal with it at his three-year-old functional level.  Selfishly, I dreaded caring for him, thinking he would challenge my meager nursing skills.

I could have saved my worry. Michael stole every heart in the dialysis unit. He was smiling when his mother brought him in, did everything he was asked, dealt with his pain, and was the kindest patient I ever had the privilege of caring for. I loved him dearly, and treasured every moment I got to spend with him over the short three years I had the gift of being his nurse. Thanks to Michael, I learned compassion and humility. Every soul has value and something to share.

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Things I Wish I’d Known in My Teens

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if a person had the benefit of experience in their teens, but there’s only one way to have that view. I wish I really could have known these things  when I was struggling:

1.  Pimples don’t last forever.

2.  Don’t waste time trying to get in with the “cool” kids.  Real friends are accepting, not exclusionary.

3.  It’s okay not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend.  There’s plenty of time for that.  It’s not a contest.

4.  If you have a bad feeling about something, avoid it.  You have instincts for a reason.

5.  No need to make excuses for meanness.   Every person is responsible for himself.

5.  Don’t excuse cruelty.  People don’t hurt you because they love you.  They hurt you because they want to.

6.  People mean what they say in anger.  Anger is like alcohol.  It loosens inhibitions.

7.  My parents weren’t malicious.  They were just human with a houseful of kids and  many demands on their time and resources.  They were looking at the big picture.

8.  Work a little harder in school.