1. Alcohol should be served in Capri Sun pouches. When you canβt get the straw in the hole youβve had enough.
2. Alcohol doesnβt turn people into somebody theyβre not. It just makes them forget to hide that part of themselves.
3. Life and beer are very similar β¦..chill for best results.
4. Iβm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, but I already have one.
5. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
6. If you drink too much alcohol you are an alcoholic. If you drink too much Fanta, does that make you Fantastic?
7. I donβt recycle because it makes me look like a huge alcoholic to my garbage man.
8. Iβm not an alcoholic alcoholics go to meetings, Iβm a drunk, we go to parties.
9. Alcohol doesnβt make you fatβ¦ it makes you Leanβ¦β¦ on tables, chairs & random people.
10. My body is not a templeβ¦..itβs a distillery with legs.
11. No! for the last time stop asking if i am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?
12. You say alcoholic, Iβll say alcohol enthusiast.
13. Take me drunk Iβm home.
14. Anyone who says that alcohol is a depressant isnβt drinking enough of it.
15. When life hands you lemons, find someone with tequila and salt!
16. Dont drink and drive, it will spill everywhere
17. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
18. Iβve been told Iβve got A.D.H.D (Alcohol Drinking and Hangover Disorder)
19. Itβs true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
20. Alcohol is never the answer⦠But it does make you forget the question.
21 c A manβs got to believe in something. I believe Iβll have another drink.
22. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
23. βRelationshipβ has 12 letters but then again so does βTime For Shotsβ
24. Confucious says, βMan who drink beer all day, have Wet Dreams all nightβ.