No Fool Like……

Things didn’t go well from the start on Croc’s last visit to the vet. My half mastiff, half lab doggy boy weighs one hundred twenty-five pounds and pulls like a tractor. Desperate to sniff a steaming pile of poop, he snatched me down the instant I stepped out of the truck. I sprawled elegantly across the pavement, knocking my nose on the curb. I’d foolishly worn a skirt, so passersby were treated the view of my new undies as I struggled to grab the leash and avoid a greater disaster. Fortunately, Croc was fascinated by a steaming pile of dog poop and hadn’t escaped into traffic. He pondered sampling it as I struggled to my feet, felt around to find my glasses in another mess, and staunched the flow of blood from my damaged knees. He showed no sympathy for me as we made our way in, choosing instead to attempt a friendship with a five pound Yorkie. The tiny beast and her dainty mom were traumatized at the slobbering beast dragging me toward them. My muddied, bloodied countenance did little to reassure the duo, despite my assertion he only wanted to play. Happily, the teeny dog was the original mean girl. She tore into Croc, teaching him a lot about little, mean dogs. The staff got us in a room straight away. No waiting!

Four hundred and fifty dollars later found us checking out. By now Croc was happily munching his cookie. Once again, I was sobered at the cost of well-dog care, despite having experienced it only six months before. Incidentally, I had another dog at home scheduled for a pricey visit the very next day. I definitely can’t handle both at once. I’d made that mistake once, a sad story for another day.

Mean Doggy and her mom stood between my behemoth and the exit. Meany snarled maniacally at us, terrifying Croc. I enjoyed that. Momma was crying to the staff, “Can you find a home for her. I’m sick and I can’t take care of her no more.” She sobbed piteously. It was heartbreaking so I hurried out. After I got Croc, also known as Meatball, in the truck, I called Bud.

“Can we adopt a Yorkie? A sick, old lady has to get rid of her.” I went back for the poor dog. Miss Ann, her mama was delighted she’d found a sucker and pulled out her tattered checkbook to pay for Meany’s visit.

On learning her bill was ninety dollars, Mama paled. “Can you hold this check till next Tuesday?”

“I’ll get it. She’s my responsibility now.” Miss Ann took my number. True to her promise, she visits Biscuit, the little Yorkie, pretty often. She’s even taken Biscuit home for a visit a couple of times. Biscuit always seems to enjoy their visits, but doesn’t mourn for her.

More to come.


Ask Auntie Linda, Straight Talk from a Straight Shooter


Auntie LindaDear Auntie Linda,  I have two girls, age seven and nine.  Their father and I divorced amicably six years ago when he realized he was gay after several years of marriage and could no longer live the lie.  He moved a couple of hours away and has the children summers and for the Thanksgiving holiday week.  He and his partner share a home where the girls visit frequently.  We are still close and he and his partner always spend Christmases with us so we can all celebrate together.  I remarried four years ago and we all consider ourselves family.  My parents, strict Christians, are livid and believe homosexuals are doomed to go to Hell.  They refuse to have anything to do with Scott and Joey, his partner.  My parents rant against Scott, saying he is a bad influence and the children shouldn’t be around him.  I invited my parents to Christmas with the provision that they not talk or act in a way that would upset our family Christmas.  They are insisting that the children “know the truth.”  How do we handle this?  We have never openly discussed homosexuality. One Big Family

Dear One Big Family, Children need love not contention.  I congratulate you on keeping the girls best interests at heart.  It is your business how you raise your children.  We need to treasure our families, not draw lines.  I am sure it was obvious to the children a long time ago “who loves who.”  You parents are entitled to their beliefs, but don’t need to impose them on others.  We don’t get to decide who and how others love.  Auntie Linda


Dear Auntie Linda,  Steve and I have been friends more than thirty years since we went to first grade together.  He married Helen and we all remained good friends.  Though I dated numerous women over the years, I never settled down.  Last year, when Steve found out he was dying of cancer, he asked me to look after Helen since she’d need help to run their large cattle operation.  Helen is a wonderful woman.  I love her and would like to marry her except for the fact that  I’ve always wanted children of my own.  Helen had a hysterectomy after her second boy was born.  The kids are four and two.  I love the boys dearly, but don’t know if I could ever be satisfied not having my own child.  Helen knows how I feel and would be happy to adopt.  Would I be wrong to go into a marriage if I am not sure?  Hopeful but Worried

Dear Hopeful, Nobody is assured of happiness, even in an apparently perfect situation.  You might marry someone else and still not have children.  If you marry this woman you already love, you will have two, and there is always the chance to adopt.  A baby is just a baby, no matter where it comes from.  Auntie Linda

Aunt Mama Ellen and the Twins

imageMy friend Ellen planned to adopt her sister’s newborn due about the same time as her own.  She was her sister’s coach and put the newborn baby girl to her own breast at its birth, taking it home with her the next day.  Her sister, the birth mother went back to college, missing only one day of class. Seven days later Aunt/Mama Ellen was sitting Continue reading