Drinking Jokes

A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the drunk man and says, ”I’m sorry sir, but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink.” The guy swears and walks out of the bar.

Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer. Again the bartender says, ”I’m sorry, sir…but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink!”

Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man… ”I’m really sorry, sir, but you’ve had too much to drink…you’re going to have to leave!”  The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, “My God, man… How many bars do you work at?!”

My girlfriend told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities.

 I thought, That’s great. Well I have a serious drinking opportunity.

sake of it

The past, present, and future walk into a bar…It was tense.

Free Drink

A neutron walks into a bar and asks “How much for a whisky ?”
And the Bartender replies, “For you, No charge!”

A blind man….

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

Posted January 14, 2023

Two guys were fishing from a boat in a pond.  One of them saw a floating bottle and picked it up.  When he pulled out the cork a genie emerged from the bottle.

“Oh, thank you, thank you,” said the genie.  “I’ve been trapped in that bottle for years.  I’m going to grant you one wish as a reward for releasing me.”

One of the men said, “Can you change all the water in this pond to Beer?”

“You’ve got it.”  said the genie as he vanished.

Both of the men dipped their cups into the pond for a taste.  Sure enough, it was an excellent Belgian style lager.

The second man said, “Way to go, big guy!  You realize that from now on we have to pee into the boat?”