Old ranch owner John farmed a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.
“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.
“Well,” replied old John, “There’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90 percent of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.”
“That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,” says the agent.
“That would be me,” replied old rancher John.
A man was driving for hours through desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat* — he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife came to the door, he said, “Pardon me ma’am, but I just ran over a cat in front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to you. I know this might be hard to hear, but I wanted to let you know instead of just driving off.”
“Not so fast,” she says. “How do you know it was our cat? Could you describe him? What does he look like?”
The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said, “He looks like this” as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression.
“Oh no, you horrible man,” she replied. “I meant, what did he look like before you hit him?”
At that, the man got up , covered his eyes with both hands and screamed, “Agggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Jokes from Farm Babe: AG Daily
Nutsrok 