It’s Not What You Tank!




If you haven’t read the first story, The most fun you’ll never have…please follow link above and read first.

When I left you, the infuriated man had just escorted Mother in the convenience store, had a long conversation with her about how much he missed his sainted mother, bought her coffee and a snack, and made sure she knew where the bathroom was. Not a word in my defense dropped from her quivering lips, nor did she explain the situation.  I guess it was on a need to know basis and he knew just exactly what she wanted him to know.  I wish he’d hung around for the bathroom catastrophe she initiated next.

As I mentioned earlier, Mother’s bathroom stops are leisurely affairs, involving meditation, warm conversation with new friends From the bathroom, and meticulous hand washing. Afterwards she digs lotion from her bag and admires herself in the mirror from every angle. The minimal bathroom break is thirteen minutes.  She flew in ahead of the rest of us as we were making our selections in the store, since it was just a one-occupant bathroom.  In this than a minute she flew out, wiping her wet hands on her jeans. 

“Let’s go! Let’s go!”

“Just as soon as we go to the bathroom.”  I protested. “I haven’t been to the bathroom or paid for my stuff.”

“!  “Let’s go, now!”  Catching that unmistakable look we’d all had so many times in the past, we left hurriedly, despite that fact that no one but Mother had taken care of any business.   There had to be something terribly amiss.  Mother never got in a rush to get out of a store or bathroom.

The story came out as we drove off.  After Mother flushed the toilet, the tank kept filling.  Ever the good citizen, she removed the tank cover with the intention of jiggling the lever.  Overestimating her abilities, she dropped the tank cover into the toilet bowl, shattering both, hence her hasty exit.  Water had flooded the bathroom and was pouring out into the hall.  As we searched frantically for another rest stop, Mother watched for a police car to pull us over as our full bladders spasmed. I know Mother would have thrown me to the wolves if we’d been apprehended.

Keep in mind, this is only the first bathroom stop on this trip.

To be continued……..


52 thoughts on “It’s Not What You Tank!

  1. Anonymous says:

    My husband is the one in the family with a track record of overflowing toilets during rest stops. Good Lord! As soon as he drinks a coffee the fermentation process begins and I know we are in for a ride of “Start the Car! Start the Car!” moments. One of these days, I’m sure we’ll have the police after us as well! Thanks for the smiles this morning. My family is down and out with the flu. I needed a good chuckle. Incidentally, if you haven’t seen any posts from for awhile, I had to set the privacy settings on my blog . . . grrrr . . . do stop by and subscribe. I love your comments and feedback. Have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree. Horrible mothers make best sellers. You should have a dozy of a book. Mine was no picnic but I count my blessings now after reading this. I always say my mother made me strong and capable. Nough said. 🙂


  3. This is truly hysterical! I have to fight with Ron when we are traveling. That man can drive 500 miles and never pee! I, on the other hand, need to stop every 50 miles! Even Sugar and Spice had to growl at him to get him to stop. Thanks for the great laugh. I really needed that! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

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