Payback is Hell

dead batTurning the tables on a kid who’s spent most of his life (I am being intentionally ambiguous here so neither of my kids feels neglected) creating embarrassing situations is refreshing.  We went out of town for a few days, leaving our college-aged son home, after specifically asking him not to have guests over.  He was certainly old enough to be responsible, for what that’s worth, but we just didn’t want to deal with any problems on our return.

Needless to say, he had friends over.  I probably would have never known, had one of his lady-friends not gone to the freezer for ice.  I got this phone call.

Him: “Mom, what in the world are that frozen bat and squirrel doing in the freezer?”

Me:  “Oh, I forgot I put those in there.  Just leave them alone.  They aren’t hurting a thing.”

Him: “But why are they in there?”

Me:  “I found them dead in the yard and thought maybe they’d died of rabies.  I meant to call animal control to see what to do, so I put them in the freezer in case they needed to be tested, then forgot.  Why?”

Him: “Cindy went in the freezer and stuck her hand down in the bag looking for ice, pulled out the dead bat, and now she’s freaking out.”

Me: “Well, I told you not to have anybody over.  Just wrap them back up and put them back in the freezer, unless Cindy Lu Who wants them.  I’ll take care of them when I get home.  I told you not to have anyone over!”

Sometimes, things work out perfectly.

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48 thoughts on “Payback is Hell

  1. Hilarious. My dad had to dig up a cat one time that bit him. It got caught in a trap. Really sad. When he tried to help, it bit him and hid under our ancient garage, still dragging the trap. It looked dead so he put it out of its misery with his handgun. He buried it then started to worry. He asked a vet and was told he’d have to bring it in if he wanted to have it tested for rabies. He’d been through dumb rabies with a dog he had and was afraid.— Suzanne

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  2. We try the old ‘don’t have anyone over, but if we don’t know then we can’t complain’ trick. Which worked ok until one time we came back and hanging from the chandelier was a bra. The little darlings were so intent on getting rid of beer bottles, stains and splashes and assorted bodies they never looked up.

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