My friend Jean could fall in a bed of roses and come out smelling like cow manure. Best of all, she couldn’t resist telling off on herself. After having three babies in four years, she somehow decided she needed a little romance, though why anyone with three babies would encourage that behavior was a mystery to me. She took the children to her mother for the night and hurried home to fancy herself up for a steamy night. Having read an imbecilic article suggesting meeting your guy at the door with a rose in your mouth wearing nothing but cellophane, she decided that was the very thing. She showered, did a daring style and bit of a color job on her nether portions and perfumed herself enticingly. Just before her man was due home, she started at her ankles and wrapped herself in plastic wrap. This was unfortunate, as it effectively hobbled her. She waited by the door, rose clenched between her teeth. Though her husband was usually punctual, this day he was late. She waited in anticipation for several minutes till it was obvious he was late. Tired of standing, she hopped toward the sofa, still clenching the rose. Since she had toddlers, a malicious Lego was lurking in wait. Propelled forward, nosediving the sofa arm. Blood gushed. She grabbed the nearest thing to staunch the cascade of blood and somehow got herself up on the sofa. In agony, she lay there, trying not to scream as every heartbeat pounded in her damaged nose. As the pain abated a bit, like any mother of three toddlers, she went to sleep.
She was awakened by her horrified husband standing over her. “Oh My God! What happened?
LOL, the imagery was perfectly clear. Your stories are fabulously funny. ☺☺☺
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So glad you enjoyed. Maybe the chuckles will shore you up!
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Laugh aloud funny. I don’t think I’ll be trying Jean’s trick. Even if I pulled it off without a hitch, the shock of seeing me in the wrapped up like that would probably kill my husband.
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As it happens, it almost killed this guy.
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What a hoot!
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Jean had us all in stitches with her troubles.
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Oh, talk of plans gone south 😂😂🤣🤣
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Just a little slip up.
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Yep, he might have gotten that not in the way she planned… lol!
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It didn’t go just as she planned.
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Definitely not!
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Oh no!
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Life is hard when your wife gets frisky.
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Lol… are you speaking from experience 😁
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That would be a bad one!
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Hmm, so I am better not asking your husband 😅
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Oh yes!
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😄😄
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Does sound like I’m telling off on myself, doesn’t it?
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Actually, yes 😅
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ROFL!!! poor man 🙂
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OMG. I can just see the ER visit now. 😀
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She couldn’t possibly go to ER. She was a nurse at the small-town hospital.
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