A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she hurried in front of him.

“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son who just died recently.”

“I’m very sorry,” replied the young man, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes,” she said. “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Goodbye mother’? It would make me feel much better.”

“Sure,” answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye mother!”

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $164.50. “How can that be?” he asked, “I only purchased a few things!”

“Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.

I Get So Tired of This

Motherdropped in a couple of Sunday’s ago.  She was in a foul mood, uncommon for her.  “I get so tired of this!” She fumed.  “I ought not to have to put up with this at my age.  I’m nearly ninety years old”

She had me hooked.  “What happened?”

”A man just showed up on my doorstep, wanting to be my ‘friend’.”

”What? Just out of the blue?”

”We’ll, not exactly.  I was out working in my yard the other day .  His sister was walking the dog and stopped to chat.  She said she had a brother living with her and figured he might like to ‘keep company’ with me.  I didn’t think too much of it and she went on her way, but not before her little dog pooped in my yard.  She was about to leave it but I ran and got her a bag to pick it up.  I hate it when people let their dogs do their business in my yard.  If I wanted dog poop in my yard, I’d have a dog.”  She was hot!  “Then this morning, her brother showed up, with that same dog.  I was’t  afraid of the guy since I’d seen him asking the dog  a few times, so I invited him in for a cup of coffee, just to be neighborly.  That little dog was sniffing all over.”

”You got a nice place here.  My little dog could be right at home here.”  That made me furious!  The nerve to say his DOG could get used to my house!  I couldn’t wait to get rid of him!”

”I’m sorry, but I have to get ready for church now.  I am almost late.”

When I showed him to the door, he asked where I went to church.  “I’ll be here at seven next Sunday to take you to church.”

Mother was livid telling her story.  “He’s got a lot of nerve!  I’m not putting up with some man