It’s Snot What You Think

Illustration by Kathleen Swain

Unless you’ve been cursed with a prissy, goody-two-shoes older sister, you couldn’t possibly appreciate this, so just go on with whatever you were doing. If you want to commiserate, jump right in. Phyllis was three years older than I. This put her just far enough ahead of me that all the teachers and Sunday School teachers were still raving

Watch Out, Missy!

It was the old farmer’s first time in the hospital.  The split back gown was bad enough, but when the nurse had him roll on his side to get a rectal temperature, he squirmed and wiggled.

“Be still, Mr. Smith.  I’m trying to check your temperature!”

“Well, watch out what your doing, Missy!  You’re about to poke me right in the butt with that thing!”