Like the rest of America, I am devastated by the hatred incarnate that erupted to take the lives of these nine wonderful people in the church in the historic old Charleston church. To think a man could spend an hour in prayer with people who’d embraced him, before turning on them, later saying, he almost backed out several times, but knew if he didn’t do this no one else would. Would to God his heart had been more touched by their goodness and acceptance than the hatred he’d learned. It’s time we all realized we are one.
You found wonderful words, Linda! It is sad and not to understand. But I guess if that one person did understand this would have never happened.
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Heartbreaking!
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It is!
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I’d like to know more about his family, what kind of environment he was raised in…I have my suspicions. Maybe I don’t really want to know. I am left somewhere between heart break and anger. It hurts.
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I am heartsick.
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I would, also, Van. My suspicions are that they may have, thinking it innocent, sat around talking about (fill in the other race of your choice) in front of the kids. Bad enough to do that, but even worse, never once including the qualifying word “some”: SOME blacks, SOME whites, SOME Latinos, SOME Asians, etc. do such-and-such, or think such-and-such.
And thus, we breed LOTS of racists of ALL backgrounds.
The few Latino and black friends I have had have not hesitated to talk about “whites” like this. The whites I have been close friends with, with two exceptions, would NEVER talk about “blacks” or “Mexicans” or any other ethnic or national or religious group like this, but other white people I’ve encountered have, and the media reinforces these whites more with negative images of people of color and more positive ones of lighter-skinned people.
I think the unconsciously-racist talk works like a funnel down through the generations–it concentrates the prejudice as the children hear it and pass it down.
Add craziness and guns…
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I agree. I had a conversation about this very thing today. Loose, trashy talk generalizing group behavior fosters hatred and paranoia. Superimposed on a situation of bullying, cruely, and abuse, all that’s lacking is guns. It’s definitely not a problem to get a gun in our country.
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The difficult part for me is, I support private gun ownership. I lived in a highly-dangerous neighborhood in which the LAPD refused to respond when I was assaulted. I have a good friend whose life was saved through use of a gun. I worked on rape and battering hotline where police would tell women to get guns after some ex-partners demonstrated persistent violence.
I wish… I begin to wish only women could own guns, and men would have to check them out from us as from a library. How’s THAT for sexist? Not that all women are peaches, mind you!
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I have no idea what the answer is.
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I want to add: It IS a problem for law-abiding poor to get a good-quality gun, and enough ammo for adequate training on it, and secure locking mechanism at home and during transport (and what is they must ride public transport!?), and pay range fees, if they don’t live where they can access free outdoor shooting sites. The cost leaves this an elitist pursuit, which is part of the reason why desperate untrained folk–often those most in need of protection; where they live–wind up with unsecured cr#p that winds up in the hands of kids.
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What is the answer? Where do we start? I believe giving people hope that they can give back is the best start. Please tell me how I can help. I would love to do something for somebody that would change things.
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Linda, I don’t know a “big picture” answer other than universal preschool, limiting media exposure for single-digit-aged children, and better diet and safe outdoor play access for all. I volunteer a tiny dribble for groups that help a lot of women and children who’ve been through it. You could do that.
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What do you mean daily dribble?
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“tiny”–wish it was daily, but haven’t found a daily opportunity that fits my situation. I put in only three hours a week. I just added a second office-based one–the donor office of a women and kids group–so if that works out, I’ll pick up more hours there.
(I can’t work directly with groups of children any more due to my autocidal illnesses.)
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Oh!
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It seems his parents are in denial..pics have emerged on his “website” that show him burning U.S. flag, raising the Confederate one..which also shows up on his car license plate, by the way. Clothing with Rhodesian and apartheid flags, references to white supremacists…yet they were shocked? Give me strength.
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What could they have done if they had known? This is a nightmare. What would you do if you stumbled on that info on a kid’s website. I know I would be devastated, but by the times those ideas are that well formed, what can be done. I may be maligning family, but chances are, this didn’t develop in a vacuum. God help us all.
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It was originally said that the gun was a birthday gift from his parents. Were they really clueless? I agree, this doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Those messages are so prevalent in that part of the world, and go back to early childhood, especially when you get to small town SC. I saw it all the time.
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Can you believe my husband gave me a pistol a couple of years ago?
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I never blame parents automatically any more.
Don’t underestimate how extremely rapidly peers can turn a child. I don’t know if that is the case HERE. I’m just saying. One of our children was high-end Aspie. Great kid, personable, but awfully smart so…he had few friends. Sent him for one year to a public high school. Almost lost him. Evil, evil place. He arrived a lost friendless white-looking smart-boy nerd in a huge place of smart-but-play-dumb and really-am-dum fast-talking kids of color. Join or die.
The unhealthy peer influence was… I was staggered. After only months, he was lying, hiding loot, forging my signature on tests…
Pressure to have friends and fit in will change a person from someone his or her own parents thought they knew.
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How did it work out?
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Ultimately, I don’t know. My sons don’t speak to me. But back then, we pulled him out for “home” schooling: He taught himself, going in to a District office to get assignments and pass tests. Immediate attitude improvement–at least to outward appearances.
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Oh, hope for the best.
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That has to be true, OB, so sorry you had to discover that for yourself. I don’t automatically blame this guy’s parents, I just saw so much bigotry and racism hiding behind some of those smiling, charming faces. I am skeptical. Maybe we will never really know.
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Family must be destroyed.
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Your heart is in such a beautiful place. I am seeking your permission to use your photo pull a quote from your in the neighborhood for an upcoming show. – KP thepublicblogger@zoho.com
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Nothing would please me more. We have to show that we all love each other. For every person who hates, there are dozens who love.
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Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
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Thanks
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Such a sad, sad situation….
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So much pain from hatred/
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I know…and the more I read, the more pointless it all was…
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So heartbreaking!
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I wonder… What was this guy like, growing up, and how did he get so caught up in this a White Supremacy thing…. ?
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Makes you wonder
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Amen.
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Peace
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Thank so much!
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It is so painful
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Hearts are broken all over.
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Thank you
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Thanks for this beautiful tribute,
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lbeth1950,
Oh no! It’s your beautiful tribute!
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