A Hog a Day Part 14

Communion charmed me.  It pained me to see the perfect little glasses and morsels of wafer in the gleaming trays pass me by.  I suspect Mother’s thoughts weren’t sacred as she warned me off with dark looks and head shake.  It seemed wrong to waste communion on adults when those cups were obviously child-sized.  Glenda Parker boldly reached in and took two tiny cups right under her mother’s eye.  She slurped the juice from one cup, then poured the juice from the other back and forth a few times before spilling it.  Her mother sweetly wiped up the pew with a dainty hanky, never shooting her “the look.”  With my head bowed during prayer, I saw Glenda stack and restack those cups and slip them in and out of the little slots on the back of the pew in front of her while her mother piously bowed her head in prayer.  Why couldn’t God have given me to a good mother like that?

Baptism was even more interesting.  The first baptism I witnessed took place in a pond.  The congregation gathered around as the preacher led the candidates in one by one and dipped them backwards into murky water.  I yearned to get in that line, but had been warned not to move from Mother’s side.  The next baptism took place in our church’s new sanctuary.  The curtains behind the choir loft opened to reveal a glass-fronted tank before a lovely mural of the Jordan River.  The preacher stepped  in and spoke a few words before assisting Miss Flora Mae down the steps into the tank.  Miss Flora Mae’s full-skirted white skirt ballooned on the surface of the water as she descended, revealing chubby legs and white panties, an unexpected thrill for me and other less-holy onlookers.  A few even snickered as Miss Flora Mae struggled to recover her dignity.

By the next baptism, the baptistry’s glass front had been painted.

 

 

 

Surprise for Angel

DressesToday I was shopping in Shreveport when I met the nicest lady.  She pointed out the cutest blouse to me.  When I found it I found a dress next to it I just loved.   I brought the dress back for her in her size, too. The upshot was, I ended up buying the same blouse she did and the dress in the picture.  She looked so cute and we had such a fine time shopping, I ended up buying her the dress, just because we had so much fun.  We are going to meet again to go shopping.  And no, I wasn’t drunk, just having a great day.  I hope you enjoy your dress as much as I will mine, Angel!  I think I surprised myself as much as I did you.

Ralphie to the Rescue

imageWe had a pet rat once.  Doesn’t everybody?  Well, as often happened, A young man came calling upon my daughter.  As David was a pompous young man, full of himself, I was surprised my daughter had allowed him to visit. Continue reading

Pantiless Party Performance

Surprise partyConnie and Marilyn were adorable little girls, born a little over a year apart.  Born fouth and fifth of five children, we all doted on them, with the exception of my brother Billy, who was displaced by all that cuteness.  Mother dressed them in pastel shades of the same style dresses as much as she could.  Connie was fair and blue-eyed with cotton white Continue reading

Surprise

I need to change my expectations.  Bud and I have been married a long,long time.  He just called me out to the shop to see a Big Surprise.  I was somewhat caught up in it since I had asked him to do a number of things for me.  He had cleaned off his fly tying bench and installed some repurposed speakers.  I couldn’t spot the surprise.  Where would a person ever get the idea a surprise was for them?  I need to work on myself.

Fish Tale

We were all going fishing! Katie, Johnnie, and Aunt Ellie had come to spend the night. Before daybreak the next morning, carrying a picnic lunch, we all headed for the deepest part of Cuthand Creek, where the biggest, laziest catfish lay in the deep water, under the tall trees, waiting for foolish little water critters to drift by. Luck was with us that day as we Continue reading