Many years ago, I was on an hospital elevator with a minister I knew. A somber man got on with us. He looked straight ahead, deep in thought. Attempting to make conversation, the minister said, “Smile, it can’t be that bad.”
The man’s expression never changed. In a low voice he remarked, “My son just died.”
The minister and I were both shocked. As he stammered an apology, all three of us burst in to tears. We hugged the man, offered shocked condolences, and offered to make phone calls for him. The minister got off and went with him.
I’ve never forgotten, and suspect neither of them has either. You just never know what a person is dealing with.
Beth, you never know until you know. Gods I love being vague LOL
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Boy, do I know
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Good reminder that ministers are human too. We all put our feet in our mouths sometimes. But maybe that was what was needed to get to the truth.
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I said a horrible thing to a wonderful friend once. I’d have given anything to take back. She was morbidly obese to the point she had trouble ambulating but was doing great in nursing school, despite that challenge. Upon returning to classes after the summer break, I was congratulating her on her weight loss. Proudly she said, “I’ve lost seven pounds!”(I thought) I was happy for her.
I said, “Seven pounds. That’s great. Pretty soon you’ll be able to tell a huge difference. She wailed, “I said seventy!” I felt just awful. By the time she completed nursing school, she’d lost two hundred. It was life-changing for her.
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It took me a bit…but I got here. Gotta run…but I’ll be back – oh, yes, I’ll be back… 🙂
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Please come back!
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I would LOVE to. Keep posting, too!
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I post every day. I just posted one. I will be looking at your blog, too.
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Every DAY? When my kids are gone, maybe I’ll have that kind of focus and energy!
I feel like a slug today…I had so many good intentions…
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Thank God my children are grown. I a much better mother now. I don’t tell them, “Eat your cookies and watch TV.” or “No, I don’t have time to read a book. I’m cleaning up your sister’s vomit right now!!
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You make me laugh! It’s like getting a quick laugh-punch to the belly that you’re not expecting!
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If I’d been there I would have thought the minister rather insensitive, seeing as you were in a hospital. It doesn’t take a huge stretch of the imagination to put two and two together. But then maybe I’m so used to pain that I can read it just from facial expression or body language. I don’t know. In some ways I wish I wasn’t able to read people so easily. But like Laura said (and it was her reblog that brought me here), at least the situation was turned around with your compassion towards him. Poor man sounds like maybe he needed to be able to say the words
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It was a foolish, off-the-cuff remark. We both learned from it. He was extremely kind and concerned once he realized his goof.
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We all say the wrong thing sometimes, and sometimes even the wrong thing can work for good – God is gracious that way. We’re all a bunch of muppets, as my old pastor used to say 🙂
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So glad Laura introduced us.
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The brief lines are dense with wisdom…a beautiful post.
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Thank you Robert
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Reblogged this on Laura Droege's blog and commented:
This is a thought-provoking story, one that I’m sure will stay with me a long time. It definitely makes me look at those strangers around me in a different light: you never know what they might be going through.
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Thanks for reblog. It really changed how I looked at people.
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It’s true…I try to be kinder to people but sometimes it is hard but I always try!
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That’s a start.
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That is such great example that we should never judge someone! We don’t know there history.
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Came over from Harsh Reality. I’m glad the man felt he could speak up and how wonderful to get help. Definitely a “closest to Christ” moment. http://lilypupslife.wordpress.com/
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It woke us both up!
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Such a great reminder!
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Makes you more empathetic, doesn’t it.
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“It can’t be that bad”. Yes, it can. Such a sweet recover, though. Quite a memory.
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Probably worst day of his life!
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Good example how we think howxthing effect us not on another person my going through.
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It’s so easy to get caught up in ourselves!
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Your reactions to his sorrow and offers to assist and go with him, were surely what he remembers more than anything else. THank you for sharing this.
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A powerful reminder of our inability to pass judgment upon others. Thank you for touching my heart.
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Thanks.
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Wow. We never know, do we? And yet, at least you both responded with compassion and comfort for this man’s loss when you heard this sad news. But this makes me look around at strangers in a different way. Thank you for sharing.
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Sure does.
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So true, you can never judge a book by its cover…
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Amen.
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