shamMother and I natter on incessantly. Yesterday we went to visit my aunt a couple of hours away. As we rode along, I was asking Mother more about the details of her early marriage at eighteen. She slipped up and confessed a tale she’s felt guilty about ever since. I couldn’t believe she stumbled and told on herself after sixty-nine years. She usually bumbles right away. To set the stage, you have to know she has a ridiculous conscience. If she suspects there is a rule somewhere, she is obligated to follow it, no matter how senseless. If she fails, she is required to feel guilty. That’s the rule.
Mother, married at eighteen. Within months Daddy moved her into the house with his widowed mother and her two daughters. They were poor and lived in a decrepit unpainted house miles out in the country, not the newlywed home she’d envisioned. To put the icing on the ruined cake, Aunt Julie with her two squalling brats had settled in as well. The house was uncomfortable, Mother felt unwelcome, Daddy was never home except to sleep.
The kids, two and four, whined without ceasing, unless they took a break to throw a fit. One day, she was alone in the room with them and was totally fed up with the whining. She told Yvonne, the oldest, “Stop that squalling or the Boogerman will get you!” To reinforce the lesson, she stepped into the next room, scratched on the door-facing and wailed “Wooooooooo!” The terrified kids shut up immediately.” From then on, when the whining started, she’d give them another little dose of Wooooo, if she got the chance when Aunt Julie wasn’t in the room.
“Why didn’t I ever hear this great story before?” I had to know.
“Because I felt guilty, I guess. I didn’t mean to tell it now. I’m still ashamed,” she confessed.
“Well, you should be. I am sixty-five years old and I could have been enjoying this story my whole life!”
Sounds like she was developing effective parenting skills. Every time you write about your mom, I like her more. Boogerman —- priceless!
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Thanks. I am proud of her. She is still a dynamo at 87.
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Hahahahahahahahahaa! I LOVE THE ENDING!!!!!!
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/This is ridiculous. I wrote it and I had to go back and look!
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If I had been drinking something when I read your last line I would have spewed it when I laughed. 🙂
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Oh good!
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Fantastic story. And it worked! 🙂
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It did.
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At least, you get to enjoy the story now. So glad she “came clean” ! ☺
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Maybe she’s trying to get to heaven at 87.
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Hahaha! I agree. You could have been enjoying this story your whole life! 😀 😀
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Selfish woman!
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Hahaha! Yes! 😀 😀
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Haha… I can very well imagine your mom woooooing and als the conversation between you and her about feeling guilty that she did not tell your earlier. I totally understand you…. haha!!!!
That must have been a really hard time to live with all these people.
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Especially since there wasn’t enough of anything to go around.
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Like a chamber of horrors!
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Yeah, guess so!
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