Farting in front of your partner… deal breaker?

This is hilarious! Reblogged from Cupid or Cats.

CUPID OR CATS

Yes, I’m a grown-up and I’m writing a blog entry about farting. Well, to be more specific, farting in front of your significant other. But before you decide that this is too immature even for an Adam Sandler film, just bear with me.

Recently, a friend of mine got engaged to her boyfriend of three years. When we went out for celebratory drinks, she motioned for me to come closer. She drunkenly whispered in my ear “I farted in front of my fiancé for the first time today.” I was completely astounded. How in the blue blazes did they get to engagement stage without overcoming this vital stage in a relationship? Oh, so you don’t think it’s important? Okay. Imagine you’re in a room full of ten people. Now ask yourself “what’s the most embarrassing thing that could happen to me in their company?” Behind crapping your pants (sorry), projectile…

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Fleas Go Home for Christmas, Willie Tharpe

Daddy wasn’t just a magnet for strange characters.  He beat the bushes to flush them out.  If that hadn’t worked, I believe he’d have up tacked up posters.  Mother had no way of anticipating who he might drag in for supper, overnight, or until further notice.  I never did understand why she didn’t murder Daddy.  He must have slept sometime!

Talking Dog (Joke)

A guy walks past a pet store. There is a sign in the window that says TALKING DOG FOR SALE.

The guy doesn’t believe it, but is curious, so he goes into the store and walks up the the talking dog and says “Hello”. The dog says “Hey. How you doin’?”

The guy says “Wow! You can really talk!” The dog says “Yep. That’s right” The guy says “What is it like being a talking dog?”

The dog says “Well, I’ve lived a very full life. I rescued Avalanche victims in The Alps. I worked as a drug sniffing dog for the FBI, and now I read to people in an old folks home five days a week.”

The guy is just blown away. He turns to the owner of the pet shop and says “Why in the world would you sell a dog like this???”

The pet show owner says “Because he’s a damn liar! He never did ANY of those things.”