“It’ll Grow Back”

Phyllis BlondeI’m sure the hairdressers among you, as well as victims of bad haircuts, can relate to this sad story.Β Β This is my sister Phyllis, over at Anchors and Butterflies.Β  Note the beautiful blonde hair.Β  Wouldn’t you just love to have hair like that?Β  Well, many years ago, in a land far away, sheΒ was home from college for the weekend, complaining that she needed a haircut, bad.Β Β A person could be forgiven for thinking that she meant a bad haircutΒ Β I was just the one for the job.Β  I got right to work.

Like all jobs skillfully executed, hair cutting looks easy enough. Β I’d watched it plenty of times and knew just what to do. Β I wrapped her wet head in a towel andΒ dragged a comb through her hair, despiteΒ her fussinessΒ about a mole and her ears. Β  I kind of parted and pinned and got started.

I did pretty well at first, then took a wild whack on one side, getting it really short. When I tried to make the other side match, it looked awful. Β It was a mess of gashes and ridges. Β Her scalp shone through in spots. Β It looked like I’d used rick-rack to cut a pattern. I felt horrible, but started laughing. Β For some reason, I still thought I could save it, but the laughing gave me away. Β She jerked the towel away, speedingΒ to the bathroomΒ to look. Β When I didn’t hear anything, I dared hope she liked it.

“Wah! Β Boo Hoo Hoo! Β I’m gonna kill you!” Β She came flying out of that bathroom gripping her hand mirror and hairbrush headed In my direction.. She chased me around the house three times before Mother got her stopped. Β Fortunately, I had a good start or I wouldn’t be here to tell the tale.

Mother tried to calm her with some worthless reassurances like, “It doesn’t look that bad.” and her old favorite, “It’ll grow back.” Β Personally, I’d as soon have my teeth bashed in as be reassured, “It’ll grow back.”

Phyllis left later that day puffy-eyed, wearing a scarf. Β Mother had scraped up ten dollars for her to get her hair repaired, reassuring her all would be well. Phyllis skipped her classes the next morning, hunting up a “good” hairdresser. Β He told her he had seen worse haircuts — but couldn’t remember when.

I would like to have included an after picture, but there wasn’t one.