“It’ll Grow Back”

Phyllis BlondeI’m sure the hairdressers among you, as well as victims of bad haircuts, can relate to this sad story.¬†¬†This is my sister Phyllis, over at Anchors and Butterflies.¬† Note the beautiful blonde hair.¬† Wouldn’t you just love to have hair like that?¬† Well, many years ago, in a land far away, she¬†was home from college for the weekend, complaining that she needed a haircut, bad.¬†¬†A person could be forgiven for thinking that she meant a bad haircut¬†¬†I was just the one for the job.¬† I got right to work.

Like all jobs skillfully executed, hair cutting looks easy enough. ¬†I’d watched it plenty of times and knew just what to do. ¬†I wrapped her wet head in a towel and¬†dragged a comb through her hair, despite¬†her fussiness¬†about a mole and her ears. ¬† I kind of parted and pinned and got started.

I did pretty well at first, then took a wild whack on one side, getting it really short. When I tried to make the other side match, it looked awful. ¬†It was a mess of gashes and ridges. ¬†Her scalp shone through in spots. ¬†It looked like I’d used rick-rack to cut a pattern. I felt horrible, but started laughing. ¬†For some reason, I still thought I could save it, but the laughing gave me away. ¬†She jerked the towel away, speeding¬†to the bathroom¬†to look. ¬†When I didn’t hear anything, I dared hope she liked it.

“Wah! ¬†Boo Hoo Hoo! ¬†I’m gonna kill you!” ¬†She came flying out of that bathroom gripping her hand mirror and hairbrush headed In my direction.. She chased me around the house three times before Mother got her stopped. ¬†Fortunately, I had a good start or I wouldn’t be here to tell the tale.

Mother tried to calm her with some worthless reassurances like, “It doesn’t look that bad.” and her old favorite, “It’ll grow back.” ¬†Personally, I’d as soon have my teeth bashed in as be reassured, “It’ll grow back.”

Phyllis left later that day puffy-eyed, wearing a scarf. ¬†Mother had scraped up ten dollars for her to get her hair repaired, reassuring her all would be well. Phyllis skipped her classes the next morning, hunting up a “good” hairdresser. ¬†He told her he had seen worse haircuts — but couldn’t remember when.

I would like to have included an after picture, but there wasn’t one.