What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

parents wedding pic

The first thing I wanted to be was not to be a girl, based on the difference in the lives I saw my parents lead.  This was long before I’d learned about penises, so it wasn’t penis envy.  That came later. Quite early on, I noticed Daddy had an enviable life, can Ming and going as he pleased.  Mother knocked herself out to do things just the way he wanted.  Should she guess wrong, she apologized and tried to make it up to him,, though that wasn’t easy.  Daddy hunted, fished, rode horses, and did whatever he wanted to with his friends, coming home when he was ready. Daddy was always able to come up the money for horses, hunting dogs, hunting gear, and find the time to enjoy them.  My brother and I loved tagging along with him since something exciting was always going on.  He lived a great life which I totally admired.

Meanwhile, Mother cooked, cleaned, did total child care, of course, juggled the bills to keep food on the table and the lights on, made all our clothes, and took care of the garden, canning and freezing the produce.  Mother never had to worry about leisure activities, since she had no leisure.  Everytime she sat down, she went to sleep.  I didn’t want anything to do with that situation.

Our social life revolved Daddy’s family.  We spent holidays and weekends together.  We saw Mother’s family once or twice a year, since they lived a couple of hundred miles away.l

When I was a kid, I had no intention of marrying to recreate the life of servitude my mother led.  I thank God I didn’t.

>a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/futures-past/”>Futures Past</a>

39 thoughts on “What I Want To Be When I Grow Up”

  1. Pingback: Older, and dafter too! | Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis & Me

  2. Thank you for your post, your mum sounds pretty much like mum, not only did my mum serve my dad faithfully she was then left to raise us up six children on her own which she did brilliantly while dad went and found someone new to serve him. I wanted and admired the selfless attitude in my mum which was also in your mum I wanted to be that capable strong woman that your mum and mine were. Thank God for those women who fought for equal opportunities now I so want to be a woman because I am able to be what I am meant to be to do things I want. It is sad that both our mums never enjoyed being the capable women they were. A great post!

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    • Thanks. Where would we be without our strong women. They are the backbone of families and the ones we look to to find ourselves. I am thankful for mothers like yours and mine every day. They mother the world.

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  3. My mother did all that stuff, but never stopped complaining about how wrong the picture was. I noticed, we all did. Most of us grew up wanting to be a man. That’s where the power was. Don’t think I really softened that attitude until I became a mom myself. I adapted, and loved it. 💕

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  4. It is a good job that women are so strong, as most of them had such a raw deal when they got married. Thank God times are changing and us women still get to have a life – even whilst being married!!

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  5. makupsy says:

    “Everytime she sat down, she went to sleep. I didn’t want anything to do with that situation.” That line caught my attention. You are funny! But to be honest, that is exactly what my mother does now and I always tell her to get some rest and take up a hobby instead of always serving my dad but alas!
    I once wrote a post on who takes care of the woman when a couple gets married, when you have a moment you can have a read.
    https://makupsy.wordpress.com/2015/03/20/who-is-taking-care-of-the-woman/
    Thanks for sharing this 🙂

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  6. I found this story very sad (and happy too). We all have same kinds of stories about great women and I really enjoy how you told this one, on this subject. I liked how you worked it all out at a young age. 🙂 Funny what sticks in your head as a kid. Sometimes I get asked how I could remember such detail as a child – some 40 years ago. Thank you for sharing this memoir piece.

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  7. I refuse(d) to be like the woman who raised me…for the most part! Sadly, OCD ‘fleas’ still jump out at the oddest moments.

    Still, I’m not a ‘neat freak,’ nor am I a ‘hoarder’ – so the worst aspects didn’t adhere, thankfully.
    🙂

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  10. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    This is a great story. Makes me wonder if I appreciate my wife enough and tell her how important she is!

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