Dear Auntie Linda, August 10, 2015

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, Frannie and I have been friends since we were n our twenties.  We are in our early seventies now and are neighbors again in a small retirement community.   I am widowed; she is divorced.  For a long time we enjoyed doing things together, hitting a couple of sales, maybe seeing a movie or having coffee, and finally stopping at the market on the way home.  Now, Frannie is changing our plans without notice and taking advantage of me.  We’ve always used my car, at my suggestion, since she is a timid driver, and she helps on gas.  Sometimes, she lets me get all the way to her house before making her grocery list.  Then she tells me she’s decided not to go after all, asking me to pick her items up and bring them back.  When this happens, she only plays the exact ticket amount, no tax or gas money.   It annoys me to have her cancel.  I have no desire to be her errand boy and spend the extra time for pick up and delivery.  Had Just About Enough

Dear Just About, Since Frannie isn’t shy, you needn’t be.  It wouldn’t hurt to check and make sure Frannie hasn’t changed her mind before you leave your house.  If she pulls a quickie on you after you get there, tell her it’s not convenienient for you to do her shopping.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me!

Dear Auntie Linda, My son and daughter-in-law stayed with me three weeks while they were waiting for their house to be completed.  My thirteen year old granddaughter told me something that really disturbs me.  I loaned them twenty thousand dollars to put down on this house.  Betsy wants her room painted sky blue so she can paint a butterfly on one wall and birds and flowers on the others.  A crazy paint job like that might ruin the resale value of the house.  I know my son will pay me back what he owes me, but he found out he was diabetic last week.  I am worried now my daughter-in-law might not pay me back if something happens to him before he repays me.  Should I ask my son to make provisions to pay the loan?  Worried Mother

Dear Worried, I don’t think that paint job will do irreparable harm to the house, but I do think your callous request will irreparably harm your relationship with you son and his wife.  Auntie Linda

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Joke of the Day

I Thought You Were My Wife
A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up
her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”