Dear Auntie Linda, October 2, 2015

Dear Auntie Linda, I am sixty-four and just found out I have terminal cancer. I am currently having chemotherapy and radiation.  My daughter’s parental rights have been terminated since she is in  prison for life without parole.  I have adopted her eleven-month-old son.  She expects to deliver her second in three months.  I was planning to take this child as well, but now know I won’t live to raise either.  It breaks my heart, but I need to find a home for them together. They won’t have any family left when I am gone and they’ll need each other.  I don’t want them to end up in the foster care system. Where do I start? Loving Grandma

Dear Loving, What a heart-breaking story.  I am so sorry.  Since you are currently going through chemotherapy, you must be in a clinical setting. Discuss this with the social worker.  He or she should be able to point you in the right direction. Your doctor or minister should be able to help as well.  I know there have to be people who would welcome two little ones into their homes.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, I am fourteen years old, a cheerleader, an excellent student, and very popular.  I was voted the cutest in the Freshman Class and Christmas Festival Princess.  The problem is my parents.  They are good people and I love them, but wish they looked and dressed better.  My mom ties her hair back in a ponytail and wears clothes off the discount rack at the store where she works.  My dad has a big gut and hasn’t had a decent haircut in years.  My dad has to present me at the Spring Festival, and I know I will be embarrassed.  How can I tactfully ask them to dress better or not to come?  Cute and Smart

Dear Cute and Smart,  Try this.  “Mom and Dad, I know you spend everything you can scrape together to support me being a cheerleader, school activities, and social activities, but that is not enough.  I want you to somehow reinvent yourselves because I am ashamed to be seen in public with you.  I am a very important person, the center of my world, and you’ll never be able to do enough for me.  If you can’t look and act like I want you to, I wish you’d try to stay out of the way.  I know you put some effort into raising me, but compared to the embarrassment I’d suffer if you made me look bad in front of my friends, I appreciate it if you’d continue to make sure I have everything I could ever want, since I deserve the best.”  You might try reading this aloud to an adult you admire and trust to make sure you get everything just right before you tell your parents.  They might have a little feedback for you.  Auntie Linda