Joke of the Day

Two blondes were walking through the woods when they saw some tracks.  The first said,”These look like deer tracks,”and the other one said , ” No,they look like moose tracks”. They argued until the train hit them.

A blond boarded a plane to Chicago. She was seated in the general passenger section. Once the airplane was in the air, she got up and went into first class and took a seat. The stewardess told her that unless she produced a first class ticket she had to return to the other section. The blonde refused and said I am going to Chicago and I am staying here. Other stewardesses tried everything to get her to move, but she refused and kept saying she was going to Chicago and she was staying where she was. Finally, the stewardess told the Captain about the situation. The co-pilot offered to go in and handle it, but he captain said no, he was married to a blonde and knew what to do. The Captain went into first class and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She looked up at him shocked and quickly went back to the passenger section. Everyone was amazed and asked the Captain what he had said. He said, “I just told her that First class did not go to Chicago

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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink,and sat on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge,and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump.
Sure enough,he jumped,so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
“I can’t take this,you’re my friend.”
But the blonde insisted saying,
“No. A bet’s a bet.”
Then the redhead said
“Listen,I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O’clock news,so I can’t take your money.”
The blonde replied
“Well,so did I,but I didn’t think he would jump again!”

Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building,who would hit the ground first? Answer: The brunette – the blonde would have to stop for directions!

What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? ‘It’s ok Daddy, I’m not hurt.’