A young boy wandered away from his grandfather at the mall.
He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”
The cop asked, “What’s he like?”
The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,
“Crown Royal whiskey and women with big boobs.”
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, “Having some problems with circleflies there, are ya?” The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said “Well, yeah, if that’s what they are, I never heard of circle flies”. So the farmer says- “Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the back end of a horse.” The trooper says, “Oh,” and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, ” Hey—wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse’s ass?” The farmer says, “Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse’s ass.” The Trooper says, “Well, that’s a good thing,” and goes back to writing the ticket. After a long pause, the farmer says, Hard to fool them flies though.”